Our Traveling Circus

We survived family pictures! Here's a sneak peak...

2011-10-02T23:08:00.000-07:00

Once Upon a Lego

2011-07-31T20:35:00.000-07:00

It all started with a Lego. It was a typical morning. Just a few pajama clad kids with sweet bed head watching their morning cartoons atop a pile of Legos... until something went awry. We have yet to hear a logical explanation, but to make a long story snort (I mean short- HA!) G-bean ended up with a Lego up her nose.

Thank goodness the doctors office was on speed dial. After explaining our predicament to a seasoned nurse, she offered to schedule an appointment OR if I was willing to try, an unconventional solution. This is not for the faint of heart. As I laid G-bean down on the floor, I looked into her panic stricken eyes and calmly said "this is going to be awkward for both of us". I then plugged her unobstructed nostril and blew into her mouth. Yep, mouth to mouth on a conscious and breathing person. That just proves how much I didn't want to lug 4 kids to a doctors office. After a few attempts and farmer blows, it was time to check our progress. With my trusty headlamp, I was able to spot that stubborn little building block and it was still quite lodged.

All the while, E-claire & B-rock were watching in horror. Not one to pass up a teaching moment, I blew some more hot air aka words of wisdom. 'Yes, children let this be a lesson to you. What goes up, does not come back down without assistance. The nose is an exit not an entrance. Tell all your fingers and friends.' Who needs an after school special!

Back to the task at hand, the Lego extraction. Because I was winded from all of my resuscitation and education efforts, I enlisted the help of some tweezers. With a steady hand (thank you Operation game), the lego was successfully removed from her nasal cavity. And just like that, G-bean's dreams of playing the nose flute were restored.

Montana State of Mind

2011-07-07T14:47:00.000-07:00

This weekend we made our first attempt at taking this fearsome foursome on the road. We are proud to report that we all survived. The kids partied like it was 1776 with fireworks and mosquito bites! Great company, good food, and gorgeous surroundings, it was just what we needed.

And There Were 4...

2011-07-07T14:23:00.001-07:00

We would like to welcome the fourth and final act to our circus. Meet Mr. T.

Happy Birthday Maja!

2010-11-21T21:48:00.003-08:00

Maja really knows how to throw a party. And what better place to celebrate than on the beach in Maui. From birthday cakes made out of sand to boogie boarding at sunset, we celebrated our beloved Maja in style. Maja you are pure magic! We all love you so much and feel so honored to share life with you! Thanks for the memories!

State Fair 2010

2010-10-04T21:24:00.000-07:00

With my little people loaded in our trusty red wagon, we headed to the State Fair. Maja, the fabulous director of all things fun, was our fearless leader. Along with Aunt Lolly & Addie who decided to join the madness and entourage. Livestock, big yellow slide, slow roasted corn, rides, edible fried wonders, the mini farm and so much more. After all these years, it never gets old, especially when you have a system. Seek, eat & get dirty. Rinse & repeat.

One of the highlights, a curious goat taking a bite out of E-claire's cowgirl hat. Legendary! Another grand adventure for the books. My wild hooligans had a great time and we had the dirty bath water to prove it.

The Goldfish Effect

2010-10-04T20:42:00.000-07:00

I love my little man. He is dynamite in footie pajamas! When I snuggle him, he smells like maple syrup and puppies. He thinks I can cure anything with hugs & kisses. He isn't afraid to hold my hand in public. He's always up for a dance party and wrestling match. And when it comes to adventures, he is my little wingman.

My point is this... I don't want him to grow up. I want to freeze him at this stage. But since sub zero temperatures won't do the trick, I have decided to go with the "Goldfish Effect". I once heard that a goldfish will only grow to the size of it's bowl, which got me thinking... If I keep him in a small bed, he won't get any bigger. It's worth a try right? Right. Although tonight when I checked on him, I don't quite know if my theory is working. You be the judge.

*Note the sweet crib. It was my great grandmother's crib, but R kindly refers to it as a World War II contraption. B-rock loves it.

Taking Our Show On The Road

2010-09-09T20:56:00.000-07:00

This past weekend, we took our show on the road. We packed up the little people with gear o' plenty and headed to the great wild west... West Yellowstone & Jackson Hole to be exact.

For the most part,

our passengers were cooperative as long as the fruit snacks were flowin' and the dvd player was glowin'. We drove through spectacular country and observed all kinds of wild life (our backseat included). E-claire still stands by her story of spotting a squirrel with a fish in it's mouth and G-bean still believes her. Will wonders never cease?! Driving through the Park with the crisp fall air was magical! Speaking of magic, I am still under the spell of a life changing bacon bleu cheese burger. Thanks Cheeseburger Factory in Alpine- HMMMM! Our adventure was truly a buffet for all 5 senses.

The final destination was Hebgen Lake for my brother's wedding. It was an amazing weekend full of family, friends, and more family. Sleeping in bunk beds, dining with the masses, doing the wedding hustle, and partying with our favorite people was a wild chaotic sublime good time. What more could we have asked for? (Well maybe a masseuse would have been nice considering this old gray mare hasn't slept in a bunk bed or worn heels for quite some time). The girls were delighted to make their highly anticipated debut as flower girls. Too bad E-claire went rogue half way down the aisle. No bribe or threat could have brought her back. B-rock waged a losing battle with his bowtie...the bowtie won, but he rocked it! The bride & groom couldn't have been more in love and the wedding captured it all! It was truly enchanting! From the robot cake toppers and bride's dress to carmeled apples and the Buttros (their boxer dog) wearing a bowtie, the event was beyond perfection!

Two Reasons Why My Closet Will Never Be Clean

2010-08-29T21:20:00.000-07:00

Three's Company

2010-08-29T21:17:00.000-07:00

2010-08-16T08:56:00.001-07:00

Oh hello morning, it's you again. I bet you are wondering why I am greeting you in dark glasses and a bathrobe?

How do you look when you start your morning being body slammed by 3 small people with super human strength? Chase that with extracting the little man from the dishwasher twice, watching him happily slather himself in his breakfast smoothie and redirecting him from dropping paper clips down the floor vent... might you feel a little overwhelmed? Then try eating breakfast next to a child wearing insect glasses with the morning hair of Heath Ledger who insists wearing a bikini to Costco. Top it off with a 6 year old who is in a dither concerning what to wear and is in dire need of batteries for some toy that you know will produce way too much noise.

I'd say by 10 am and you'd feel like the jig is up too!

How To Beat A Case Of The Mondays

2010-08-13T15:20:00.000-07:00

Just another manic Monday...

The Big Ten

2010-08-06T23:22:00.001-07:00

This past May, we hit the big "10 year" anniversary. R & I celebrated with a much-needed getaway. We left our little people with an ample supply of fruit snacks and a fabulous sitter (THANKS LOLLY!). Passports in hand, we fled the country! We embarked on a trip that we joked would make or break us. The challenge- 11 days, 2 countries (England & Scotland), 700 miles in a car (driving on the wrong side of the road- yikes!), and the British Open. It was a grand adventure and yes...we made it!

Freeze & Say Cheese

2010-08-06T23:04:00.000-07:00

This is as close as we get to a family picture. Take it in.

Knowledge is Power?

2010-05-13T15:02:00.000-07:00

In my grand visions of teaching G-bean to be literate, I dreamed of it being an outlet of expression for her. The gateway to greater knowledge and written worlds. I imagined that her first scribbles of gratitude would go a little something like this...

"Dear Mom...vessel of life...all knowing goddess of the bathrobe (okay so that's a little bit of a stretch),

Thank you for countless hours of patience in teaching me how to read, write and count one fish, two fish. You & Dr. Seuss have changed my life. I promise to use my power for good."

~Love, G-bean

Well, the little dickens went rogue on me and this is what I got...

Translation:

Mom is talking on the phone for a long time.

I don't know why?

So I ask you, is knowledge really power?

All in a Day's Work

2010-04-18T22:45:00.001-07:00

My PEEPS

2010-04-18T12:39:00.000-07:00

I'd like to reintroduce you to my "peeps". Meet E-claire, she is a force of nature. In her world, clothes are optional and the world is her oyster! Then we have G-bean. Our toothless wonder who believes the world is her runway and the more friends the merrier. Last but not least, there is B-rock. If he can throw it, he will. If he can climb it, he will. And if he can climb it and throw stuff off of it- even better! They are crazy which in turn makes me crazy! Some days I am the ringleader and other days...the ringmaster. It's a magical and maddening time. I hope to survive! If not, I will send you a postcard from the edge!

Take a Hike

2010-03-21T10:38:00.000-07:00

We're baaaaaaaaaack! Yes the traveling circus is still alive and entertaining anyone within a 30 foot radius. Here are the troops at Silver Lake. Wearing out the little people and making an adventure of it is our favorite past time.

Random Summer

2009-08-18T09:21:00.001-07:00

PLEASE SEND PLANE OR NANNY

2009-08-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Recently, I was a competitor on Survivor Montana. The challenge, survive one week in a cabin with 4 moms, 2 large dogs and 7 kids under 5 years old. Thoroughly outnumbered by little people, we endured mosquito's, boat trouble, WWF toddler fights, the flu, colds, bats, sleep deprivation and ear infections. Not even REI could have prepared us for this grand experiment in the wild. At the end of the day, all we had was our sense of humor, pioneer spirit and cell phones! At one point R received a distress text, PLEASE SEND PLANE OR NANNY STAT! Neither were dispatched. Something was obviously lost in translation. Through it all, we made great memories for our little people! As for the mom's, we definitely learned what we were made of!

At the end of our time, there was no winner. We were all survivors.

Rubber-Neckers Delight

2009-08-03T12:25:00.000-07:00

With 3 kids...I have become a rubber-neckers delight. There is no glancing sideways or watching behind dark sunglasses. When I go out in public with my little rat pack, people blatantly stare. I tend to make up pretty little stories to go with my picture of chaos. I pretend it's because we are a talented traveling circus. Kids are hanging, climbing, and jumping off of things...abnormal things. Or maybe we look like we are straight off the runway styled to perfection. Wrinkled clothing, mismatched shoes, untamed hair (with strategically hidden food for convenient snacks), spit up or hand prints on the mom, and as always a princess dress & clip on earrings in tow). Perhaps we are a spectacle because we are so well behaved in public, people are looking to see if my children are made out of wax. No, they are just Masters of Concentration (when it comes to picking ones nose or having an accident).

I am almost afraid to leave the house for fear we might make the 10 o' clock news. I am toying with the idea of becoming a shut in, a chocolate dependant recluse. If I do, please send post cards and mementos from the outside world. I shall emerge one day...

**They look harmless enough in these pictures, but don't let these whirling dervishes fool you!

And the Oscar Goes to...

2009-07-15T13:24:00.000-07:00

To the littlest Rockstar in our house who is finally sleeping through the night!

Acceptance Speech:

I would like to thank chocolate, under eye cream and HGTV for getting us through this sleepless time. It was an experience I will probably forget since that is how my brain works. We had a lot of good times getting to this point- changing diapers in the dark (usually ending up backwards or getting sprayed); watching the newspaper and milk being delivered at 4am; running into walls trying to find the baby; being serenaded by R's snoring (at least somebody was sleeping); and watching the sunrise. HMMMMMMM, memories! And of course, we couldn't have done it without the support of our fans...fans that rooted for us while getting 8 hours of sleep in the comfort of their beds. This one's for you!

These Boots Were Made For Walking (and Swimming Lessons?)

2009-07-01T14:07:00.000-07:00

Our House

2009-07-01T13:53:00.000-07:00

I finally finished a summer project. Operation gut, paint & rehab the kids playhouse. The girls are loving the finished product. It turns out that R & I will be empty nesters sooner than later. The girls have taken up residence in the backyard! No tears...just send us a postcard every now and then.

2009-06-14T18:00:00.000-07:00

5 days

4 states

3 wild children

2 National Parks

1 exhausted set of parents

Spreading the Love & Awkwardness

2009-05-23T20:44:00.000-07:00

Something this good should not be kept to oneself. People I am here to share the love & laughter one photo at time. This is guaranteed to put a smile on your face. Check it out!! It's pure magic!

awkwardfamilyphotos.com

My Name Is KKKKKKKKKid Rock!

2009-05-08T09:38:00.000-07:00

Still Missing Our Golden Bear

2009-05-08T09:35:00.000-07:00

Jackie Bear

2009-04-27T21:21:00.000-07:00

This past weekend we lost our beloved Jack. Because we loved him like a person, he deserves a proper send off.

Jack aka Jackie Bear, Man dog, Jack Jack & Jack dog was born July 24th, 2003. When it came to finding the perfect dog, he chose us. Out of a litter of 16, he sat quietly amongst the puppy chaos and stared at us with his wise brown eyes. He was a handsome, gentle, loving, playful, and protective companion. He took his job of taking care of us very seriously. Jack would always wait on the hiking trail and stand guard on the front porch. He was patient with all of the little people we had acquired over the years even though it meant he moved further down the totem pole. Jack tolerated dress ups, fished bath toys out of the tub, stole stuffed animals to sleep with and parked right under the dinner table at meal time. He wore many hats or shall we say collars, he was the foreman always making sure everything was in working order. He was the lifeguard retrieving sticks and keeping an eye on the kids at the lake. He was our happy wanderer always up for a hike, mountain bike ride or a trail ride with the horses. He loved to help deliver the mail on our whole street with the mail lady. He loved to lay right in the middle of all of the action and play traffic controller. He moonlighted as a college mascot accompanying Meg to work on campus. We called him the dog park ambassador, because he had to greet everyone. He loved to spoon and would snuggle up to any willing participant. He enjoyed going to the park where he was loved by all the children. He was very busy in his 5 years.

Jack was loving and loyal to the end. Our last night when he was so sick, he mustered the strength to say goodbye and let us know that he would be okay. He let us love him until it was time to join his sister Ellie in that big dog park in the sky. He was an old soul trapped in his 5 years young body. Jack was our gentle giant. He will be missed everyday.

Jack was preceded by Ellie, Cleo and a whole host of four-legged friends. He leaves behind a huge fan club. Services will be held at one of his most favorite places in the world, Montana.

2009-04-27T08:20:00.001-07:00

Guess what our week brings?

Spring Fever

2009-04-22T08:20:00.000-07:00

We all have spring fever at our house...some worse than others. Our little E has the itch to not wear a stitch. Translation, she has started her own little nudist colony right in our home. She will not wear clothes or diapers for that matter. The second I dress her, she breaks a landspeed record in removing every article of clothing. She is a free spirit! At nap or bedtime when left to her own devices, she will strip herself and the bed. Yep, we often find her jumping up and down on a plastic mattress in her birthday suit. I am all for a little nudity, but this is an activity that she engages in at all hours. The other night we caught her red handed doing her Houdini act at 3:30am!

If you will recall, there was a previous post where I had to employ some questionable tactics to treat E's state of undress. Well, it has come to that again. Long live DUCT TAPE!! We are back to taping our child into her diaper. She did manage to escape twice yesterday slinging her wet diaper across the room, but we have since perfected her silver harness.

Last night as we were saying prayers, sweet G-bean thanked Heavenly Father for duct tape. She then asked him to bless that E wouldn't be so crazy and that she would keep her clothes on. Hey whatever works! We are putting in orders with 'The Man' and in the meantime, we will use extra strength tape.

Ready for my Close up

2009-04-03T18:20:00.000-07:00

I have a very talented friend who blessed us with some fabulous photos of the little man. We spent a snowy morning snapping pictures for her portfolio. We stuffed the naked little man in one container after another. Surprisingly, he was quite relaxed in the buff. Next time he's fussy, I am going to wrap him in a furry blanket and stuff his naked little body in a basket. For more photos on the little man, visit Melissa's website

http://melissaclevengerphotography.blogspot.com/.

We're Late! We're Late! For a Very Important Date!

2009-04-02T22:02:00.000-07:00

We're Late! We're Late! For a very important date! No time to say hello, goodbye! We're late! We're late! We're late!

Miss G-bean patiently waited to turn 5 in style. After checking our pocket watches, it was time. So we fell down the rabbit hole and threw her a Mad Hatter Tea Party. Holding out any longer would have meant off with our heads! Out numbered by little people, we spent 2 hours decorating hats, playing musical chairs, and running mad... All while dining on tea sandwiches, cupcakes & pink lemonade. The attire was whatever struck their fancy. Butterflies, princesses, a cheerleader, Alice in Wonderland, and fairies all attended. G-bean even managed a wardrobe change mid party. When you are the queen of hearts for a day, why not!!

** A big thank you to all the good fairies who helped behind the scenes!!**

Side note: G-bean has come up with this new "pretty pose" that she pulls out for pictures. She is currently coaching E on her best angles and hand placement. It has yet to take.

Suck it up (and in)

2009-04-02T19:56:00.000-07:00

I am trying to get my act together with 3 kids. When you don't know what day it is, life is an adventure. I sleep with one eye open while dressed in a cape (doubles as a burp cloth) and sneakers (orthotics included). I function in 3-4 hour increments. Eat, play, sleep...with a lot of diaper changes and macaroni in between. I am lucky to keep up with meeting the most basic needs. I have contemplated changing my outgoing voice message to- "I can't come to the phone (or door) right now because I am either covered in some form of body fluid or I am being serenaded by screaming children. Leave a message and I will get back to you just as soon as I am finished rocking in the corner." Needless to say, the last 6 weeks have been a little hazy. But have no fear, we are doing life!

In an effort to stage my comeback, I have tentatively ventured out into the public domain. I've started with little trips to the park, library, grocery store, gym, church... yes church. And let me tell you on those occasions, we give thee thanks for spanx! Can I get a Hallelujah for squeezing into a spandex-free non-maternity garment?! When your body is stuck in limbo, you just have to suck it up and in! No time for loose parts- I've got people to feed and jobs to do! Besides, have you ever seen a super hero with a muffin top? Nope! Remember Wonder Woman's ensemble? She was cinching it in too! The days I play a shut in, it's sweats city. No thanks spanx. My body needs a break from defying gravity and all odds. Plus, my week old stretched out sweats add an element of mystery and make me feel like the hottest sleep deprived mama on the block!

Regardless of my uniform, life is good. Busy, but good. Whether I am keeping it together in spanx or letting in all hang out in sweats, my kids don't care as long as I continue to save their world one diaper and pot of mac at a time!!

2009-03-25T10:40:00.000-07:00

My computer has gone on strike!! Whether it be my late night blog monologues or my questionable itune downloads, my link to the cyber world has broken. Until I become more concise or choose better music, updates will be limited. Stay tuned...

Mayhem in Mexico

2009-03-12T09:06:00.000-07:00

Our traveling circus hit the road for the annual pilgrimage to Mexico. We were lucky enough to escape for some much needed sunshine and surf.

It was an experience getting there with 3 wild animals in tow, but we made it with a lot of help. Thanks R, Maja, T-pop & countless other saints. It takes a village these days.

We played hard & slept hard. The girls swam like fish and drank tropical drinks like sailors. The little man acclimated quite well. He enjoyed showing off his spray tan (jaundice) and lounging about in onesies. He even humored E and let her decorate him with stickers. R & I attempted to keep up with all the mayhem while carving out some time to relax. We both managed to devour a good book and even found time for an occasional nap. Best of all, we were able to catch up with grandparents, siblings, great grandparents, cousins, aunts & uncles. 51 fabulous relatives from Hawaii, California, Texas & Utah all converged for 8 days of sunburned bliss.

As for the little man, he managed to sleep through most of the action. But I guess when you have already been on 6 airplanes and lived a third of your life in Mexico... life as an international man of mystery can be exhausting!

Here's to finding sand in our ears for the next week and surviving another great circus act!

New Man on Campus

2009-02-26T08:36:00.000-08:00

Without further adieu, we would like to introduce the newest member of our merry little band... Rockwell Henry. He is preceded by 2 great Rock's & 2 great Henry's, so he has some big shoes to fill. All in good time. We'll just work on filling out his clothes for now.

It's definitely been an interesting adjustment. Balancing 3 kids, driving around with 3 car seats, dressing, feeding & refereeing 3 wild Indians- it's a little crazy! Everyone seems to be surviving so far. If you drive by and see a white flag out, it means I have surrendered to the little people and assistance is required. Until then, we will continue to take life 20 minutes at a time.

Thanks for all the well wishes!

2009-02-24T12:29:00.000-08:00

The little man has finally arrived!! He made his debut on Sunday, February 15th at 6:33pm. He was a dashing 7 lbs & 12 oz and a lengthy 20 inches long. All went well with delivery and first week of life. I have found a cure for sleep deprivation. If I alternate holding one eye lid closed during the day, it counts as sleep. It pretty much looks like I am giving the stink eye, but I do feel somewhat refreshed after. The girls are doting big sisters and enjoy holding (mauling) baby brother. G-bean told me that the baby smiles like George Washington. E's response is "ooohhh cute!" or "baby yock long nap". R is enjoying some extra testosterone in the house. Already they have taken in several basketball games and golf tournaments together.

We are withholding pictures, because we thought we'd pull a Suri Cruise. We are going to wait until we get a Vanity Fair spread to introduce him to the world. Just kidding. I am having trouble downloading pictures. It's a 50% technical issue and a 50% mom is not functioning on all cylinders issue. Don't worry, R the IT guy is on it. Pictures to come.

Week 39

2009-02-13T15:49:00.001-08:00

Stick a fork in me...I'm done. We are now in week 39. The little man is in a holding pattern and refuses to land. I have given him all the signs that it is time. As a true man, he just doesn't get it. The end is in sight though. Induction day is February 15th. What a glorious day!

My present feelings can best be described by an old camp song. "My back is aching, my belt's too tight, my hips are shaking from left to right." Presently, this little diddy is the soundtrack of my life. It keeps me marching forward towards that lovely and much anticipated delivery date.
I can do it! Or as Obama would say "Yes We Can!"

P.S. Karma strikes again! I am being induced tomorrow and G-bean threw up in the middle of the night. Real funny! I have cloroxed every surface of my house (light switches included).

Week 38- Karma

2009-02-05T15:33:00.000-08:00

The heavens have a sense of humor. This time the joke is on me. I have been talking a pretty good game about being ready to deliver baby #3. Lately, I have felt like I am living my life in a waiting room. I am going stir crazy waiting for everything to change and wanting to get to work on life with 3 kiddos. Delusional right? Well, that is where my insanity has stopped. I have yet to take drastic measures or attempt any hair brain wives tales (besides the inflatables). Believe me, at this stage there is no end to the advice one receives on expediting delivery. Suggestions of wild mushroom pizza, swinging on swings, eating a specific salsa, Castor oil cocktails, spicy food, new age massages, sex (hello- that's what got me into this mess), jumping on a trampoline, hiking, etc. Pick your poison.

Well after my weekly meet & greet with the doctor, I have made little progress. Pretty much my uterus is a steel trap. Although that was not her official diagnosis that is what I heard. Discouraged, I spent my drive home pondering which supposed labor inducing technique I should try. Perhaps I could massage my back with salsa while downing a Castor oil cocktail in between jumps on the trampoline with a spot of curry rubbed behind my ears followed by a hike to the hospital. Brilliant!

This is where the humor comes in...Upon waking up the next morning, my kids have colds and Miss E has the flu. So far, the score today is 4 rounds of retching, 5 outfit changes for E, 3 outfit changes for mom, 4 loads of laundry, and endless amounts of Clorox. Do I want to have this baby right now? Nope. I'll wait another week.

Bounce Back

2009-02-03T20:56:00.001-08:00

Like father like son...the little man enjoys a good hot tub and refuses to get out.

How do I know this, well I recently tried to coerce the baby out with another trip to inflatable land. For family night, R & I took the crew to the "bouncy place" for some good times. R had the audacity to question my motives accusing me of trying to induce labor. What?! I mean just because I cleaned the house from top to bottom, showered and had a date with the blow dryer does not mean that I am ready to have a baby. Okay, so maybe just a little. But it was also a last attempt to be a fun mom before I go into zombie mode and lock down. Mission completed...kind of. At the end of the evening, we were successful in the fun parent department but not so successful in the baby induction one.

To Rest or Nest, that is the Question

2009-01-31T16:24:00.000-08:00

I need to be stopped. At this point, all the books are saying "put your feet up" and "save up your energy for the delivery". I am here to tell you it's a farce! I wish I could lay about and cozy up to a tub of ice cream, but it just ain't happening. I am in hyper drive! I have been nesting like it's going out of style. Let me give you some examples. In the past few days, I have ironed all the pillow cases in our house; organized & labeled my kids closets; re-framed several pictures; reupholstered a bench; painted a bed; froze 3 casseroles; detailed the car; took down the Christmas lights; hung drapes; and laundered everything that holds still long enough for me to get my hands on it. I've got problems. And so does R, because his "honey-do" list never stops. I need a padded room or a sedative...or both.

Can this maniac be stopped? Who knows? All I know it my world is about to be rocked by a newborn, but at least I'll have pressed pillowcases.

2009-01-29T08:56:00.001-08:00

The Countdown Continues

2009-01-25T12:05:00.000-08:00

Oh how the line up on my nightstand has changed. What once was a stack of literary works and mindless magazines has been replaced by baby propaganda. The starring line up: What to Expect When you are Expecting (no time like the present to start reading up on what has happened to my body the past 9 months); Pregnancy Journal ("Dear Diary, it's been a while since I have written and seen my feet...); Baby name books (such pressure- my latest fav "Barakwell"- ha!); and Babywise (my dummies guide for newborns). What I really need is a book that is called What to Expect when you are done Expecting and in Way Over your Head! Yeesh!

In other related news, I am now visiting with the doc weekly. This truly is a sign of the countdown. You know that old adage about always leaving your house in clean underwear just in case you get in an accident or in my case have an accident. Well here are a few additions to the list...always leave your house in clean skivvies (pack a backup in case you sneeze), be well groomed (shaved legs included), a pair of galoshes (in case your water breaks), toenails painted (must look stylin' in stirrups), tasty snacks (hate to miss a meal), and a suitcase (for your deductible sponsored trip to the hospital). Mind you, this is all just in case. Exciting isn't it? Now I know why I couldn't hack the girl scouts. There is too much work involved in 'always being prepared'.

In the long run when push comes to push, none of these things will be as important as the drugs...and girl scouts don't pack those door to door! Believe me, epidurals trump thin mints!

Week 36: Belly Laughs

2009-01-20T18:07:00.000-08:00

In pregnancy and life, one must have a sense of humor. At this stage, it is the one thing that I exercise regularly. Each day when I dress this figure o' mine, I find myself giggling at the images that come to mind. Today for instance, I wriggled myself into a fresh pair of sweat pants and a shirt that makes me look like a wedding mint. Oh this shirt is a doozy! One of those that you scoff at in the beginning of your pregnancy because you will never be that desperate. I am clearly past desperation and just hoping to cover crucial parts. Back to the shirt that launched a blog entry. It's sea foam (a real color palate pleaser). The last time I wore this color, I was seasick. It has fabulous ruching and drawstrings on the side. Now I don't have clearance to fly at this stage, but I am fairly certain that given the opportunity to jump out of a plane I could pull those ripcords and my shirt would double as a parachute!

Function has surpassed style...here's to looking fine in 2009!

When Dad is Away, The Girls Will...

2009-01-18T15:35:00.000-08:00

Once Dad hits the road everything changes. When I am a one woman show, our house transforms into a lawless country with a sheriff that is too tired to regulate. There is a different code of conduct. Pj's become the uniform. They are only taken off when changing into another pair. Eating out & Eggo waffles are a primary source of nutrition. Brushing teeth & hair are purely optional. Keeping the house clean is for the birds or the bored (which you are not with 2 wild children). Late night sleepovers in Mom's bed are a must...especially when Mom looks the other way while little people jump. Allowing G-bean to raid Dad's ice cream stash and letting E ride her bike in the house become kosher. Activities must result in pure exhaustion. And adventures are a daily staple. Weekend highlights: playing in the snow, wagon rides to the pharmacy for ring pops (truly an emergency! no edible jewels in the house), painting with wild hair (inspiration comes in many forms), loitering at the library, and bouncing on giant inflatable structures. Yep, even 35wk prego Mom went on the inflatables. Crazy- Yes! Missing out on all the fun- NO!

Upon Dad's return, it's back to business as usual. When the Deputy returns, there is a new sheriff in town! Mom's got back up!

Life Under the Big Top

2009-01-14T10:21:00.000-08:00

This optical illusion is me at 35 weeks. Why not take a picture? The horizontal stripes only accentuate my fabulous curves. Yes, life under this big top is lively. Our little man is in the countdown. E conducts hourly check ups of my belly while G-bean discourages any heavy lifting. I have two little mothers on my staff and they mean business. E is constantly asking "You okay mommy?" My response today..."Yes E, mommy got out of daddy's sweats."

Plan for the rest of the day: spin around really fast in this shirt and tell my children they are getting sleepy. This big mama needs a nap!

Notes From The Underbelly

2009-01-08T19:05:00.000-08:00

There is this place which I have dubbed the
"Bermuda Triangle". It's an elusive area- nothing gets around it. Nothing covers it. Nothing can be seen past it. Any guesses? Yep, it's the bottom of my burgeoning belly.

I no longer have a skinny leg to stand on when it comes to telling my girls not to wear belly shirts. Throughout the day, each shirt shimmies it's way to mid belly and then stops. G-bean either finds it hysterical or concerning the way my clothes fit. E just thinks it's great that she can easily locate my belly button (if you can call it that). It looks like a turkey timer these days. I on the other hand find myself wearing more and more of R's clothing. There is nothing wrong with wearing his sweats in public right? Repeatedly? Mid afternoon?

With 5 weeks to go, the white flag is up! I have surrendered to stretchy pants and men's clothing. According to the books, I have traded my sashay for a waddle. And according to me, I am having an out of body experience (or a trapped in body experience). Either way, it's no longer mine. I hope to reclaim what's left of it in February. Until then, my Bermuda Triangle will continue to defy the law of physics and clothing.

**Congrats to all my fellow pregos who have already popped! I hope to join you in the stirrups soon!

2009-01-08T19:00:00.000-08:00

2008-12-26T13:28:00.000-08:00

8 minutes to locate snow clothes
23 minutes to wrestle children into snow clothes

2 minutes to pose for pictures

3 minutes for E to stand frozen in snow bank

4 minutes for E to attempt to escape gloves

1 minute for E to realize it's warmer inside

30 minutes for G-bean to play in winter wonderland and end up at neighbors for hot chocolate
90 minutes of shoveling for Dad to wish Santa brought a snow blower

**building an indoor snowman and making apple juice slushies with rosy cheeked E

PRICELESS

Naughty or Nice

2008-12-17T15:33:00.000-08:00

Time for the yearly check in with the man in the big red suit. This year, G-bean fearlessly marched up to Santa and placed her order. E on the other hand eyed him like a wolf in sheep's clothing. She wasn't fooled by the synthetic beard or covert ear piece revealing each child's Christmas wish. Instead she took her complimentary candy cane and stood watch in case G-bean needed back up.

It's a yearly tradition to visit Santa and light R's parents neighborhood Christmas tree. It snowed just in time for the evening's festivities. Out came the snow suits and pink cheeks. It was truly magical. E finally understood what the snow craze is all about. She kept saying "I bite snow." We have yet to indoctrinate her on the various shades and quality...Fortunately she was working with a fresh batch. As for G-bean, she could not have been more content with her cousin Stella, glazed donut & hot cocoa.

By the way, the random little boy in our family picture kept pelting me with snowballs. I guess I'm an easy target these days--big, slow moving, hard to miss. Doesn't he know not to mess with a Mama bear, especially when she's with her young.

2008-12-11T09:24:00.001-08:00

Rodeo Queens

2008-12-09T08:40:00.000-08:00

Thanksgiving break brought free days, good weather & little people with energy to burn. With my fellow belly in crime, Joni and I packed up the girls and headed to Maja's house. We spent a magical morning feeding animals (both 2 & 4 legged), giving riding lessons, and leading horses around in circles. The girls were in heaven as were the horses with their excessive treats. Adorned with rhinestone hats & cowboy boots, the girls transformed into true rodeo queens. Jack supervised the whole operation as the proud watch dog and master of ceremonies. As we rode off into the sunset at the end of the day, everyone was tired, happy and stinky. Mission accomplished!

Don't Look Down

2008-11-22T20:41:00.000-08:00

"Whatever you do, don't look down." Advice usually spoken to a person standing on a precipice. Well people, I am teetering on the edge of change (aka baby number 3). And those words of wisdom have yet to help me. For the last 7 months, I have done exactly that... not looked down. I focused on more pressing matters and paid little attention to my ever changing figure. Mad cravings and cankles were given little thought...perhaps a weird side effect from bad Indian food.

Problem #1: All the realizations that a person would normally have experienced in the beginning of pregnancy are hitting me NOW. So with less than 3 months to go, I feel like I just had a date with my EPT and must prepare for the aftermath. All I can say is holy bananas! What am I going to do with 3 little people?! My sanity is already in question. The midgets will have me surrounded! Our man on man defense is shot. What do I do when they all decide to mutiny and run in different directions? Are kid leashes still kosher? What do you do with a newborn? I think I have blocked it all out for a reason. We've come so far with the first 2 kiddos. We can go to the movies and talk politics. Who pressed the reset button?

Problem #2: I am having delusions! First, I do not recognize my own body. I feel like a science project in paneled pants. I could charge admission. When reflecting on my pre-baby bod, I fancy myself to have looked quite a bit like Heidi Klum. Please say nothing! Remember, I'm delusional. Now I feel like someone photo-shopped my head onto Roseanne Barr's fuller figure. To top it off, I fantasize about working out. Right now just putting on socks is exhausting. My poor lungs are out of real estate and I am constantly out of breath. I sound like an obscene caller all the time. I dream of doing sit ups and laying on my stomach. I haven't been able to locate my ribs for quite some time. I long for rigorous bike rides and long runs. HA- where were those desires 7 months ago? When I am not cursing at skinny runners, I am marveling at their agility due to the fact I no longer walk, I lumber.

Solution to Problems 1 & 2: Accept my reality and embrace the look of a wild-eyed mad woman. I hear that comes with 3 kids. I think I would have preferred a complimentary toaster for all my trouble, but what are you going to do.

Halloween Spooktacular

2008-11-04T10:23:00.000-08:00

The best day of the year and I practically missed it. In the hustle and bustle of life, I did not devote the proper time & creativity required by this spooktacular holiday. The kids were without costumes, the mom had drained the candy supply, the dad was preoccupied packing boxes and all was not in order for Halloween. My last ditch efforts at a costume for G-bean had failed miserably. Some even made her cry. She was close to cancelling Halloween all together and was in jeopardy of never smiling again. Okay so that last part was a little dramatic, but she did threaten not to trick or treat. GASP! Fortunately, E was oblivious to the drama and had lower expectations of this haunting occasion. Her only demand..."More candy mom." Alas, had I ruined the best day of the year for my children?!

No! By some miracle, it all came together. We even managed to pull off our annual chili party the night of Halloween. We had a house full of family dressed as all walks of life eating off of paper goods and dining atop cardboard boxes. The dry ice was floating and the root beer was flowing. E was double-fisted all night with long neck root beer. I daresay that little lady bug was seeing spots and could not fly a straight line by the end of the night. As for our Rapunzel, she made a full recovery. The only thing that could have topped her delight was if Prince Charming were to show up and ask her to let her hair down. And then there's the parents, don't they looked haggard?! They were. We did not dress up...SHOCKER! If anything, we were dressed as survivors. Hopefully next year we will get our act together, so that we won't get voted off the island.

Details, Details

2008-10-28T21:29:00.000-07:00

Some people say that it's all in the details. Or is it?

In anticipation of our move, we have abandoned conventional living. We have decided to live in a maze of cardboard boxes. We forage for our needs of matching shoes & a clean towels and forgo our wants of furniture to sit on & home cooked meals. The girls have deserted their toys and created their own little shanty town out of storage containers. We are up to our eyeballs in STUFF! It's a danger zone. I have toyed with the idea of handing out avalanche beacons 'just in case'.

I do have a point. It is this. In an effort to be a more organized version of myself, I have tried to pay the utmost attention to every detail. No clutter or excess will enter our next abode. I have sorted, cleaned, mended, and thrown out years of material baggage (aka crap). For heaven sakes, I sterilized the bath toys. Alas, some details have escaped me. I tucked G-bean in the other night with her shoes on. I somehow overlooked the fact that E was playing Picasso with a sharpie on her white dresser. I discovered all to late that G-bean had unwound a full roll of toilet paper needing a telescope for her highseas adventure in a box. I found the phone in the fridge. I have thrown the toothbrush in the sink and spit in the drawer. And it was brought to my attention that 5 out of 7 days this week, my underwear has been on inside out or backwards. Hmmmmm...

Is it really all in the details or just the important ones...like survival.

Tip of the Day: Always Dress the Part

2008-10-27T13:12:00.000-07:00

What's up Doc?

2008-10-20T23:11:00.000-07:00

I recently went to my monthly cattle call weigh in. (Always a character building exercise). All the clanging and banging of the scale revealed that the month of September had not been kind. (My clothes strained seams could have told you that.) I proceeded to rationalize to the nurse. 'I have on heavy flip flops, suffer from dense bones and have the weight of the world on my shoulders.' She just rolled her eyes and herded me into my room.

Upon discussing this matter with the good ol' doctor, she gave me this diagnosis. First, I should stop spreading butter like frosting because my milkshake was going to bring all the boys to the yard. I remarked that such a weight gain was probably typical for a 3rd baby...WRONG! She shot me down. Come on Doc...curvy damsel in distress make something up. Tell me women with an abnormal amount of freckles gain more with the 3rd baby. ANYTHING! Then she had the nerve to tell me that if I wanted to get back on track, I should only gain 1 lb. next month. I teared up and blurted out "But it's Halloween!" To which she responded, "Eat celery". AHHHHHHHH!

The plot thickens (just like everything else around here). During my next grocery store trip, I made an effort to spend some extra time in the produce section. Celery in cart, we headed towards the checkout. G-bean asked if we could pick out some Halloween candy. Once again being upfront, I told her that if we bought it too soon Mommy would blackout and eat it all. Unphased & answer accepted, she moved on. As the cashier rang up my last items, she gestured towards the "super buy" of the day. Before she could even say the words, I squeaked "1 bag- the one with chocolate bars". I buckled! G-bean looked at me confused, "Didn't you just say...". Oh kid, this is one of those times where you do as I say and not as I do.

The Stork Won't Fly

2008-10-20T22:39:00.000-07:00

While driving the other day, G-bean decided to ask R a serious question. "Dad how do babies come out?" she inquired. GULP, nervous chuckle, beads of sweat..."That is a great question for your mother." Not one of R's most shining 'Father knows best' moments. All things girly and messy make him squirm. Good luck R, you've got 2 daughters!

Upon arriving home, they both sat me down and presented me with the loaded question. G-bean seeking an honest answer and R praying for someone else to handle this delicate subject. When I asked her what she thought, she guessed the baby's best exit options were through the mouth or belly button. Here was my chance. My opportunity to open the lines of communication so that my kids would know they could always get a straightforward answer from their parents. HA! I gave her a very honest response (certain details excluded). When finished with what I felt was articulate and appropriate information, G-bean & R looked horrified. I think they liked G-bean's options better. Maybe next time I will stick with the stork.

Cravings or Ravings?

2008-10-02T10:19:00.001-07:00

You know you are in bad shape when Frito's & Cranberry juice sound better than being stranded on a tropical island with a masseuse! Oh the things that go bump in the night in this belly o' mine. This week I have already polished off 1 jar of pimento stuffed green olives, half a jar of pickles, guzzled 2 gallons of milk, and downed my weight in sourdough toast. People- are these legitimate cravings or mad woman ravings? My world is nothing but salt & sour. Baking has lost it's luster while opening brine-filled jars brings such delight! Who am I? Who has taken over my body? I feel like one of those capsules where you just add water until they balloon up into some odd shaped creature. It's not all weird science. I do find myself giggling at the absurdity of my breakfast. All I can handle is Special K which boldly promises to take inches off my waistline. Ironically mine seems to grow a few inches each week. I have thought about complaining to Kellogg's just for my amusement.

I finally surrendered to this force of nature called pregnancy. I pulled out the paneled pants. YUP! I laughed, scoffed & dismissed the idea of those spandex contraptions. I told R it was way too soon. "I am still a svelte woman," I claimed. Alas when I tried them on for entertainments sake, let's just say I wasn't so amused. It was then that R admitted how wonderful they looked. Wonderful?! Upon further investigation, he admitted that I haven't looked comfortable in my jeans for a few weeks now. In not so many words, the man told me I had been walking around looking like a stuffed sausage coming out of its casing. Hmmmm...I guess panels aren't that bad.

What Is Stronger Than Duct Tape?

2008-09-18T08:38:00.000-07:00

Alas, E's will is stronger than duct tape. She escaped!! Those quiet moments I innocently assumed E was napping--E was actually freeing herself from her "super star belt". (Yes, we gave it a name to jazz it up.) She is our little naked Houdini aka "Nude-ini". It all makes sense now. I wondered why E would hold so still for diaper changes and extra strength tape applications. It turns out, she was patiently biding her time and strategizing her exit. And exit she did! When I peeked in to check on her, there IT was... World's soggiest diaper sitting in the middle of the room with shreds of silver dangling from it's remains. It had been lobbed over the side of her crib and left for pick up. And there SHE was...peacefully asleep in the buff! Back to the onesies we go!

*Do you see that devilish glint in her eye?

Three Things

2008-09-15T13:42:00.001-07:00

Three things:

-First, today we found out that we are having a baby boy. Crazy- I know! Up until this point, R thought he was destined to live in the land of pink & princesses. As the ultrasound would have it, there will be one more prince charming in our kingdom. G-bean is now excited. At first she was flustered, because she wanted a baby girl named Carol. I don't know where she gets this stuff.

-Second, G-bean lost her first tooth. The only problem is that she has no recollection as to where it is or when it happened. We think she might have swallowed it. So if it takes 7 years for gum to digest, how long does it take for a tooth? The tooth fairy definitely has her work cut out for her.

-Third, I am going to admit to something quite silly. I duct taped my daughter into her diaper today. According to other moms, it is not child abuse. E does not like to wear pants...ever. When left to her own devices, she will strip & run. Such behavior is not kosher at nap time. So today, I pulled out that handy multi-purpose tape and strapped her in. SUCCESS! I have yet to hear a peep from her room. I haven't planned her exit strategy from the diaper, but I'm sure it will make for a great story.

Family Fumble

2008-09-06T22:11:00.000-07:00

Who doesn't love Fall? Who doesn't look forward to the weekend? The wife of a football fan that's who!! While I love the season, it can sometimes be overshadowed by a large blue "Y". Although R attempts to engage in family fun, when game time rolls around...let's just say that 'the game is on, but nobody is home'. He's a warm body to us and a hot-blooded fan to his team.

The second Saturday of football season began like any other weekend until early afternoon when the headphones came out. R started to putter about the house attempting to be super helpful which only meant one thing...tip off was in an hour. He did what few men have done before...saw a need and took care of it without prompting. He voluntarily did the dishes!

When I inquired about the need for headgear, I was informed that the pre-game show was just as important. It's foreplay for football fans. Since when have men been so concerned about foreplay? As if that wasn't enough stimulation, the end of the game rolled right into the post game show. Television off, headphones back on. I quickly learned that was also a priority for an uber fan. It's like the cuddling afterward. Once again, since when do men like to cuddle after? Oh the things I will never understand. Three sisters and a brother that loved science did not prepare me for this.

So while R watched big boys pass the pigskin and listened to them replay their moments of glory, the girls napped and I found refuge painting furniture in the garage. Fumes or football, pick your poison!

Book Smarts

2008-09-06T20:33:00.000-07:00

First & foremost, I love my family. That being said, sometimes a lady needs a break. For those of you who can relate, read on...the rest of you just better go back to your familial bliss.

Tonight I dropped my family off and ran away. Okay that sounds a little dramatic. I did not pack a suitcase and hide in a tree house. Let's just say I went to return a video and took the LONG way home. As a child, my grandmother taught me that the best place to escape was a good book. Therefore, I found myself wandering aimlessly around Barnes & Noble. The smell of Starbucks wafting through rows & rows of uncracked books and intellectuals mingling over lattes was heaven. No one grabbing my face or pulling at my hemline demanding my undivided attention. I could just be. By proximity, I exuded intelligence. For all these bookies knew I was a political genius, rocket scientist, journalist, professor. I had found my people...and best of all, they didn't expect anything from me. For a good hour, I checked out of my life and pretended to be someone with a brain. Rubbing elbows with college students, philosophers, book worms, and random loiterers, I found that I wanted to sink into a recliner and have deep thoughts. I wanted to go back to when my brain was mine...uncluttered & interesting!

As I sipped my steaming Starbucks delight, I wandered without purpose. Almost wishing I had important research to conduct or a term paper to write, I itched to be a student again. I thumbed through heavy volumes that were way beyond my comprehension. I paused for a moment in front of the classics. While paying my respects, I stared off into space. I reveled in the absence of any thoughts or responsibilities, but hoped for brilliance by osmosis. I then passed the home reference section. It was there that smug Martha Stewart posed contently with household cleaning items on the cover of a book thicker than my waistline (which is hard to beat these days!). Believe me, no one enjoys cleaning that much. And any enjoyment I feel comes from the fumes! Can't a girl escape from domestic duties? Hello, I am hiding in a bookstore! Besides Martha if I have time to read your cumbersome book, it means that I have finished pulling out all of my eyelashes and knitted a vest with them.

I digress. Perusing aisles and mentally making lists of interesting books, I realized that I have no excuse. I can't use the "if I only had a brain" line, because this is not the Wizard of Oz. This is my life. I can be a life long learner. I just have to make time for my own stimulus. So how do I do it all? While Martha makes it seem easy, she also has a staff and record. My question is this- in the absence of a hired team and prison smarts, how do you make time for you?

2008-08-30T19:33:00.000-07:00

We survived our first "Football Saturday" of the season. Believe me, R has been counting down the days. His manhood was definitely not in question today. He did yard work, watched football and ate beef. It doesn't get manlier than that. Short of pounding his chest and carrying a club around, the testosterone was flowing. As for the estrogen, the girls and I did our best to steer clear of pigskin central.

Other updates, G-bean had her first trip to the dentist where he gave her a no thumb-sucking mandate. We now tuck her it with a customized frowny face band-aid on her beloved digit. So far, so good. We went on a Mommy & G-bean date to the new 3D movie Fly me to the Moon. G-bean looked like a cross between Elvis Costello & Helen Keller as she blindly grabbed at the air trying to touch the characters in her fashionable specs. It doesn't get much better than that...until G-bean attempts to dress R up in a cowgirl outfit.

E has decided that diapers are slowing her down. It's now a common occurrence to see two bare cheeks go running by. We have had to reinstate the 'onesie' due to our resident streaker. She too must give up her night time comfort...the Binky. It's that or billy bob teeth. I am pretty sure she'll thank me when she's older. She is all about jumping, climbing, giving 'bones', dancing, and following her favorite big sis. She loves that G-bean will sing & entertain her to sleep at night. Plus, she thinks it's pretty awesome that G-bean has taught her how to sit upside down on the couch. The upside down contorting has now carried over to church. She chose to sit that way for a good portion of Sunday's meeting. Whatever keeps the midget still!!

As for the mothership, I am vertical. I am also craving a cupcake. Signing off...

P.S. Check out R in the background of the picture of E painting with pudding. She was slathered from head to toe with pudding and R was totally stressed out.

Head Cases

2008-08-21T21:13:00.001-07:00

It has been confirmed. I am living with a bunch of head cases...I am their ring leader. Where to begin? Well, let's just say that August has been the month of head traumas at our house.

It all started a few Saturdays ago on a trip to Costco. Until then, it was such a happy place. Bulk shopping, samples, churros, footie pajamas and a lot of stuff that you don't need but buy anyway. We were loading up when Miss G-bean fell backwards out of our cart and landed on her head. She deserved a gold medal for her dismount. She also earned a one-way ticket to the ER. I am going to let you in on a little secret. The quickest way to get a room and be seen by a doctor is to have your child throw up all over the waiting room, you, and the people around you. Poor G-bean was so out of it. Mom (aka me) was trying to stay calm and with it while holding a bag of frozen corn to her head. A few exams, tests, doctors, CT scan and IV later, we landed ourselves a one night stay in the hospital. As the evening wore on, G-bean perked up and we started to see glimpses of our spunky red head. I think she even thought our unexpected adventure was fun. Nice nurses, stuffed animals, movies, Mom all to yourself, stickers, room service...need I say more. In a 4 year olds eyes that starts to feel like the 4 seasons. To make a long story short, we learned that kids bounce even on their heads. We were lucky. So Miss G-bean is back in action living to tell the tale. She has made a full recovery, but it's definitely tempting to blame any future ill behavior on the fall and not our parenting.

Head case number 2 aka kiddo numero dos, E. We had the pleasure of swimming with friends this week. Water, friends, good conversation, sunshine, kids occupied...and then E decided to pick a fight with a cinder block wall. It didn't necessarily happen that way, but by the way her face looks she definitely lost. Poor E was kicking back some animal crackers, catching some rays, taking in the scene when she dropped her snack. In her attempt to launch a rescue mission, she tipped over in her chair backwards (yep, backwards once again!) and had some face time with a wall. We found out that she also bounces, but scratches easily. She now has a nice raspberry on her forehead, nose, wrist & elbow. I think she is truly rocking the look. It adds to her scrappy nature and street cred. G-bean has even backed down once or twice when they've gone head to head over a toy.

As for the other head cases in our house (Mom & Dad), our symptoms can't be linked to a particular injury. It's just life. Let's just say it's been a wild summer. In fact, we refer to it as the "Summer of Survival". Here's to hoping for a slower paced Fall.

Our YaYa Sisterhood

2008-08-07T09:32:00.000-07:00

Meet my YaYa's. There are no traveling pants in our sisterhood. Skirts & dresses are the preferred uniform. I don't know whether G-bean is taming the lion or attempting to feed E to it. It depends on the day.

Never Say Never

2008-07-14T22:29:00.001-07:00

I learned quickly in life to never say never. For example, I will never admit my mad teenage crush for Jon from New Kids on the Block; I will never go to bed before the news; I will never act like that when I am married; I will never use engineered underwear in lieu of exercise; I will never make my kid do that when I am a parent; yada yada. I also said I would never wear a bra and thank goodness I went back on that one! My point is, eating your words is far less appetizing than eating cookies. So, NEVER SAY NEVER!

Well, I NEVER expected to find myself at the American Idol Tour Concert. Don't adjust your screens...you read it correctly. I myself avoided Idol fever, but my mom & mother-in-law weren't so lucky. In my whole life, I cannot recall my mother ever watching TV let alone following a series. (Too bad my children can't say the same.) It all changed when a smiley little fellow named David Archuletta hit the scene. Let's just say the mom squad's inner groupie emerged full force. Sunday dinners were spent discussing their weekly performances & critiques. The Moms even went as far as exchanging a downloaded Archuletta mix (adorned by a homemade cd cover with his picture on it). Crazy I know!

When opportunity knocks buy a ticket. So with the help of my in-laws & sister, I surprised my Mom and took her too the concert. Sandwiched between two uber fans, I witnessed both "Moms" squealing like teenagers and trading "AI" facts & favorite moments. When the concert started, you better believe they were perched on the edge of their seats with binoculars! These women were hard core. My sister I could not compete with their enthusiasm. I guess you reach a certain point in your life where you look for something or someone to believe in. Since all their children are raised, they chose "Archie". He's hotter than menopause & has the "pipes of an angel"!

Overall it was an entertaining evening. One I NEVER thought I'd experience, but one I am glad I did. I am always up for a party, but I was most excited to observe my 2 Mom's" rock out like school girls!

My only regret... not providing them with glittery homemade posters to wave around.

Hip Hop Don't Stop

2008-07-01T21:34:00.000-07:00

The fantasy has become a reality. Tonight I had my second Hip Hop dance class. I am now "a part of a rhythm nation." Thanks to my teacher and Janet Jackson. It is quite entertaining attempting to coordinate mind & body to the same beat. I think I have a 10 second delay or need for an oil can (watch out tin man). For my first class, I was tempted to make up a shady past and a sweet stage name just to get into character. Turns out, no one needs your name. They just want to see your moves. I did however subconsciously roll up one baggy pant leg, just to add to my street cred. I was trying to channel my inner LL Cool J. Thank goodness they didn't ask to see my abs. LL's hard to beat in that department.

This is quite an accomplishment for someone with a white girl rhythm and a dream. As a child I dabbled in modern dance, which only qualified me to flit across the stage like a leaf blowing in the wind while wearing a flesh colored unitard. UNTIL NOW! These days, I find myself bouncing to the beats of Usher and friends. My kids are treated to a rapper's delight on a daily basis. E sits in her high chair yelling "YEAH!" while waving her 'arms in the air like she just don't care'. G-bean is attempting to master the head spin on our wood floors. And I keep practicing those fabulous 3 counts of 8 that I learned in class. R finds the Hip Hop craze that has hit our house quite amusing. Don't worry, he's been known to bust a move, but I'm not supposed to advertise that. I will keep you posted on my progress. Next week we are learning how to "Pop & Lock". It's going to be off the chain. Right now I need to go take some Advil and ice my back. Dreams are hard work people! It's not all gold chains and glamour! If I keep this up, I am a boom box and a sheet of cardboard away from being a legit performer.

In the newly acquired words of G-bean, "You better check yourself, before you wreck yourself." WORD...

Deep Thoughts by G-Bean

2008-06-17T20:51:00.000-07:00

Lately we have had some lively discussions with our resident red-head. The questions are definitely getting more difficult. I feel like I need more time to collect my thoughts! Here are these blue eyes full of wonder waiting to absorb any information I give her as fact. No pressure right? I do not relish in this type of authority. I do not profess to know it all, nor do I want too. But when she asks, I can practically hear the Jeopardy music begin to play. Let me give you some examples.

-Question: Mom, where did I come out of and HOW?
-Answer: G-bean, I myself often wonder about that. Mommy was very happy (medicated) at the time and can't remember all of the details. But you came into this world in style.

-Question: Mom, can Daddy grow a cool mustache? Can I have one too?
-Answer: Well, Dad can grow one, but he starts to creep out the neighbors. And girls
can't grow mustaches. [RETRACTION] Actually honey, there are some women who can grow
some really nice ones, but don't stare directly at them. If mommy ever grows one when she gets old, it is your responsibility to wax it.

-Question: Mom, do you and Daddy have "True Love's Kiss"? (She watches Enchanted ALOT!)Answer: Some days. And the days we don't... Well, we just have to work a little harder for the magic.

-Reaction: That's not like the movie.

Mom Reaction: Yeah that stuff is propaganda.

Question: What's propaganda?

*And to think, we have only just begun to answer life's mysteries.

2008-06-15T12:32:00.000-07:00

Whenever we go to Maja & Papa T's house (aka grandparent's house), it's always an adventure. A few weekends ago we had a game night & sleepover. We love going to their house because we hunker down in their kitchen and cook like mad scientists. Everyone gets to come up with their own concoction for us all to sample. G-bean specializes in veggie dips. We dance, visit, bake, bathe, and whatever else we can think of. On this particular rainy weekend, we made chocolate chip cookies while bathing E. E had the ingenious idea of combining 2 of her passions, eating hot cookies in the bath. Meanwhile, G-bean got a "mani & pedi" from one of her favorite aunts. Maja danced around like a crazy lady and our faithful Jack dog stood watch (hoping E would drop a cookie).

Since the men of our family are clearly outnumbered, they tend to make themselves scarce once all the 'hens' gather. Instead of running for the hills, they headed out for a round of golf. The weather did break for a little outdoor recreation. The girls even got to feed horses and pet a 'baby horse'. It was a great escape! Thanks again.

2008-06-12T21:36:00.000-07:00

Okay, I am just going to say it... Every night I tuck in my children and every morning I tuck in my muffin top! I only enjoy the night time routine. Summer is a painful season. It's baring it all at the neighborhood pool in hopes that your kid will learn to swim before people realize that is not an innertube built into your suit. Let us strip away the layers of fleece & wool only to see what hibernation, children & a long winter have left behind. Speaking of behinds, the other day while donning my summer duds I compared the look of my backside to 2 pigs wrestling in a blanket. Sorry, I am a visual person.

Never fear, I am a firm believer that I got myself into this mess, so I can exercise my way out of it. Hence the Sunday night re-dedication to fitness. Here is a week in review. Monday went fairly well until we got kicked out of the 'Mommy gym'. Yep, E formed a union of kids with an aversion to mothers working out. Tuesday, G-bean and I attempted to do Pilate's, which became a demonstration in how flexible 4 year olds are and how 30 year olds should feel lucky to fasten their own bra. Upon completing 50 minutes of pretzel impressions and back bends, G-bean hovered around me for the rest of the day concerned about my back. Is my age and lack of physical prowess that obvious? Wednesday hmmmmmm Wednesday. I ate a back of chips while watching a fitness show. As if that wasn't ambitious enough, I attempted to clean my house to the beat of my workout mix. I think I broke a sweat. We did go for a bike ride, but due to the 90 lbs of fun (kids & trailer) hooked to my bike we had to avoid major hills. To the average passerby, it looked like I was pedaling in slow motion on the slightest grade. Today...well I've got an hour before bed maybe I'll come up with something. I just flexed and I think I pulled something- let's call it a day.

The point of this whole diatribe is this, fitness is exhausting. It's one more area of life that you have to exert yourself and hope for results. Sounds like marriage and kids! Sometimes I feel like I could see more results by banging my head against the wall for 3 reps of 12.

So I am asking for ideas, because my whole sit & be fit routine isn't working. Plus, I know my path in life is paved with baked goods, so how do I find the balance and my 16 year old behind?

What's My Motivation?

2008-05-28T21:07:00.000-07:00

Random Tidbits

2008-05-24T17:40:00.000-07:00

Ever since our little Nancy Reagan launched her "Just Say NO" campaign, things have been a little testy around here. Everything receives one answer. E would you like some juice? NO! E is the world flat? NO!! E do these pants make me look fat? NO!!! Yep, that expanding vocabulary I mentioned is now contracting to a mere 2 letter word. Goodness we are getting creative around here.

I made my first bid on Ebay, which is the closest I'll ever get to online gambling. I lost of course. I knew I should have gone to MIT.

R & I watched Dan in Real Life again. I love that movie. Perhaps because it foreshadows our future with daughters. R is looking forward to being a "murder of love" and greeting boyfriends with a shotgun. I on the other hand, look forward to the organized chaos and endless drama.

G-bean is devastated that school has ended as am I. She is comforting herself with our summer's supply of Popsicles and long rides on her bike. She is all about 'circle toast' (English muffins), character band-aids that cure everything, sporting tank tops & pig tails, decapitating tulips and mothering E. G-bean has been quite confused as of late wondering if no really means no due to E's new one word wonder. Yes G-bean, no means 'don't ask again', maybe means 'drop it' and yes means 'yes & remember how cool I am when you are a teenager'. See clear as mud!

R & I celebrated our 8th anniversary! To quote the infamous Micheal Jackson, "And they said it wouldn't last." It was a glorious occasion. We went out to dinner and grocery shopping. It doesn't get much hotter than that. Ooooh maybe if you threw in a sink full of dishes, poopy diaper change and detailing my car that would really turn up the heat. Now that makes my heart go pitterpatter. You might even consider that foreplay. We have actually been courting one another for the past 15 years. We don't count the spitballs in 3rd grade. So half of my life, I have been with this strange fellow named R. I think he's a keeper.

We have a revolving door at our nudist colony. E has figured out how to take her clothes off at nap time. Now she winds down by stripping and wakes up in the buff. As for G-bean, she has decided that it is now kosher to sleep in pajamas...at age 4.

That's us in a nutshell this week... or shall I say that's us in the nut house this week! I have to go, R just invited me to watch Pride & Prejudice. I think...No, I know it's a trick to get me off the computer...but I'm falling for it. Doogie Howser signing off.

Latest & Greatest

2008-05-19T08:39:00.000-07:00

Life under our big top is rolling along. Most days, I am lucky to keep up. Let's see the cliff notes... Palm Springs with R's family, my 30th b-day, family gatherings, Cinqo de Mayo party, Jazz playoffs, basketball tournaments, fieldtrips, co-oping at G-bean's school, speaking in church, playdates, soccer, etc. Hmmmm I am sure there is more...perhaps I blocked it out. This is what I do know about the latest and greatest for our little ladies.

Miss G-bean the dancing queen is still styling her way through life. She wakes up at 6:45am every morning and quickly dresses herself in her latest fashion creation. She then proceeds to the living room for her morning dose of "shows" while eating breakfast with dad. E & I show up on the scene at a more reasonable hour. G-bean loves to write her letters and draw pictures. She has now found a way to combine both passions... making signs. She has posted a sign on her door to keep E out. E only has permission to enter at bedtime. Oh the things cartoons teach. Her new catch phrase "Things are about to get crazy in here". She is quite the little mother packing her little sis all over the house. When she wakes up from her nap, she sneaks across the hall and breaks E out of the porta-crib. She tips it over, E rolls out giggling and it's off to play. I love this age, because G-bean is my little helper and friend. When we cook, she ties on my apron and helps plan the menu. The other day we sat in a patch of sun on the carpet and read cookbooks like romance novels. We like to crank up the music and practice our new dance moves. She is absolutely thrilled that she now has the 'longest hair' in our family. I think she has developed the Pantene hair toss. It's so fun to have big girl conversations and see the world through her eyes. She likes to point out things that only 'big girls' get to do. My most favorite thing of all is the bond I see with G-bean and E. When we close the door at night, we hear nothing but giggles and the squeak of bed springs until they both pass out from exhaustion.

E is our little Muppet. She waddles through her day with her Monkee's mullet and toothy grin. E has her pudgy hands in everything. Her mantra 'Leave nothing untouched or untasted'. She likes to motor around the house mimicking her big sis by attempting to ride scooters, try on sparkle shoes, and chew on Barbies. After a hard days play, she has 2 ways of sleeping: 1- like she has fallen out of the sky without a parachute, 2-like a rhinoceros that has been tranquilized. She is quirky. She is climbing everything! We keep finding her on table tops, scaling high chairs, and on top of boxes. In her spare time, she is still fighting the tartar war by rummaging through our toothpaste drawer. G-bean posted a sign on the drawer discouraging such behavior, but E conveniently can't understand signage. As a result, E eats about a tablespoon of Dora toothpaste a day. There has got to be some nutritional value in that. She has learned that infamous word that makes a parent's blood run cold... "NO". Fortunately she is still testing it out. I love her expanding vocabulary. For better or worse, she understands everything we are saying. Yikes!

Even though life feels crazy, this is such a magical time. Glad we could share it with you!

Welcome to Suburbia!

2008-05-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Soccer season has kicked off once again! We have dusted off our theme song of "Busta Move" and we are rollin' on out to the field. G-bean's dedication to the sport has increased slightly. While she still hugs her best friend M, dances around and makes grass pies on the field (most of the time), she has had moments of greatness. E on the other hand, mans the sidelines as cheerleader and guardian of halftime treats. It's a family affair!

Did I shave my legs for this?

2008-04-23T15:46:00.001-07:00

It's that time of year again. Time to get my tires kicked and my oil changed at the "girly doctor". It's not easy keeping up a body that is 3 decades old. Maintenance is required. You would think that I would be ecstatic at the thought of sitting alone in a room full of elevator music and magazines for an undetermined amount of time. After all, it is a chance to catch up on my Women's Day, Woman's Weekly and Reader's Digest. Stimulating reads my people! I guess providing all those publications really cuts down on those awkward moments of wondering if you are in the right place. I was. Patiently waiting through the lottery of names, mine finally came up. Woohoo! (sarcasm included).

Off to the scale, which is more like confessional. The second I stood up on that metal platform, I immediately started confessing all of the shortcomings in my diet. The nurse gave me an unsympathetic look that said it all..."Here's a quarter honey. Call someone who cares or go buy another candy bar". I guess I'm not the only one. Next event, paper gown fashion show. Glamorous and breezy, what more could a girl ask for. After enjoying my recyclable outfit for a good 45 minutes with my back to the door, the doctor appeared on the scene. Why do they arrange the room so your back is to the door? Hello, here is my best side come on in!

I swear she must have turned up the heat, because the sight of those rubber gloves made me sweat like a banchee. This is only time I shy from hot pads. You know, the ones so gingerly placed over those shiny stirrups. At this point, I overcompensate by attempting to act normal which in turn makes me act even more abnormal. I start babbling on about the weather, chia pets, American Idol (which I don't really watch), lawn bowling, yada yada. Before I know it, I feel like I am having an out of body experience listening to this crazy who sounds like me. I am so uncool...and hot did I mention hot? Because while yammering on, I started to have every woman's fear of losing control of all body functions at an inopportune time. Oh the shame. Crisis averted. The only thing I couldn't control was my mouth and the doctor isn't paid to tell me to shut it. After tinkering around under my paper tent with her medieval salad tongs, the doctor pretty much pronounced "it's a girl" and was on her way. Yep, I am a girl...I probably could have told you that before the stirrups.

Piano Man

2008-04-20T17:43:00.001-07:00

"Sing us a song, you're the piano man.
Sing us a song tonight.
Well, were all in the mood for a melody,
And you've got us feeling alright."
~Billy Joel

Multi-tasking man-style! I think it might be selective. He's not refereeing children, making dinner, talking on the phone, and taking out the trash while riding a unicycle, but this will do just fine. Play on....

Say AHHHHHHH

2008-04-16T22:43:00.000-07:00

Behind every great set of pearly whites, there's a great dentist. It is a noble profession, especially when my dragon breath is your 8am appointment. I went today. I love my dentist who also happens to be one of my father's frat buddies. I don't know if that helps his credibility. No, I did not have to drink fluoride out of a boot while getting paddled. Hazing is now against the law people! He must have been a real hoot back in the day with his party tricks. Because for some reason, he seemed to enjoy asking questions right as he was wedging a grown man's fist in my mouth. Thank goodness he strapped a bib on me, because my response went a little like this "Hmmmrrpphhmmrrpphpmm" with a lot of drool. I literally did "talk to the hand". As my mouth was resuming it's original shape, I further attempted to exchange pleasantries. This too proved difficult considering he was wielding an object that could remove tartar and an eyeball. No sudden movements! Feel free to just tell me the story- no need to act it out!

To top it off, I don't think honesty is always the best policy even if you are wearing a white lab coat. Things were wrapping up when I decided to mention a newly discovered chip on my tooth. Can't quite pinpoint the cause...radio flyer accident, first and only girl fight, opening a pickle jar, the possibilities are endless. I was just curious. I wasn't looking for an extreme makeover. My dentist decided to take the road that should be less traveled by. He decided to ease my worries by pointing out another chip here, a crooked tooth there, and so on. I started to feel like snaggletooth- a snaggletooth that should ask for her money back. Yep, one little chip became a laundry list of imperfections. Gosh, I'd like to have this guy around on my worst day. I encouraged him to keep going, but to let me get a magic marker so he could circle the afflicted areas. Seriously buddy, keep going until you get to my love handles. HA! In hindsight, I should have shoved my fist in his mouth while he was talking. That is the last time I point out what I refer to as 'flaws that add character'. And heaven forbid I get a cavity- he might just point out that I have one leg shorter than the other.

Pride or Principle

2008-04-16T22:14:00.000-07:00

It all started with a bet...and this is what you get. This obviously is not my husband (shucks!), but this is exactly what his hair currently looks like. Aren't I a lucky woman? I was told R's image was unavailable for blog use, so Jackie Moon is my substitute. Back to the story. R & buddies (aka fellow 'hair club for men members') thought it would be funny to see who could go the longest without a haircut. Little boys in large men bodies looking for a hair-raising experience. When shaking on the deal, I don't think any of them considered the repercussions.

R's hair looks like a helmet. He who shies from all things 'metro' was forced to purchase and use hair products for the first time. It's hilarious! I feel like I am watching a teenage boy learning how to use cologne. It's awkward, endearing, and downright dorky! So when I asked him about his day today, he got this disturbed look on his face. It all came spilling out. A man at the water cooler asked R if he got a "permanent" over the weekend. HA! Pride or principle, we'll see who wins the bet!

Invasion of the Body Snatcher

2008-04-07T18:32:00.001-07:00

It's official, it's not "There goes the neighborhood", it's "There goes the neighbor". I have lowered my standards...I have no pride. The poor people (my family included) living within a two block radius are about to condemn me. I have been publicly spotted wandering the hood in my bathrobe on several occasions. I haven't brushed my hair for 3 days. I actually spruced up for Sunday family dinner with a wet wipe. I now understand those haggard women I see in public looking disheveled, glassy-eyed and in desperate need of a makeover. Granted we have been moving furniture around and packing boxes, but I have been letting myself get pretty gnarly. I finally showered this afternoon and when I got out of the shower I screamed. Not because my body rejected shampoo & conditioner as a foreign substance, but because I didn't recognize myself. Who was that stranger?! Out of my bathrobe, grungy sweats & work clothes, I didn't look any better. I had to remind myself that soap is not surgery. Then I paused...what was I hoping to find? A supermodel? I have been eating more than saltines and the last time I had professional grooming was...I can't remember. As for people wanting my photograph, there was that call from National Geographic. Have I really let myself go? And just how far gone am I?

As I stood there examining myself, notice I didn't say "checking out", I dug deep to find my inner Pollyanna/Tony Robbins. Nudity and vulnerability makes one quite gullible. Cue pep talk- I realized that I look pretty good as long as my eyeballs are above the water line. I have my health, all of my original teeth, my hair is nothing a weed wacker can't treat, my clothing covers all the important places and I have most of my brain. It's a fact that you lose brain cells when you are pregnant. NO I AM NOT, but I have been and I haven't recovered. My body is a road map. It shows where I've been and where I hope to go. Those well padded hips- great for child birth and packing around toddlers. The poochy stomach- perfect for hiding my feet when I leave the house in slippers. The booty- reflects my baking abilities and brings me one step closer to my future hip hop dancing career. The bingo wings (aka arms)- perfect for carrying, calming, landing airplanes, you name it. My point is that 'stranger' staring back at me is not such a stranger after all. I just need to spend a little more time with her. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll try "beer goggles". Everyone looks good after three! Just kidding!

"Uh, Thank You Very Much"

2008-03-21T20:49:00.001-07:00

Did you ever see the movie Parenthood? Well, our little E is the kid running around with a bucket on his head. She is quirky. Her latest move is a head stand. I don't know if she enjoys it because she can effortlessly fold in half or because she likes checking out her "cankles". She held this pose for a good 10 minutes in bed last night. Baby Yoga- she needs to center herself before she sleeps!

A day in the life of E... well, it all started this morning with a pair of dad's swim goggles and mom's reading flashlight (yes, I know they have invented reading lamps). Who would have known that such a combination would help E channel Elvis. With music blasting, E had the hip swivel and the attitude. She was in the zone. A legend in her own mind. As her personal paparazzi, I snapped a picture of her doing the 'King's' signature sign off "Uh, Thank you very much".

Onto the next activity, sampling toothbrushes. With her new found mobility and elevation, E has discovered bathroom drawers. Her favorite one, the toothbrush & toothpaste drawer. She does not discriminate. She will suck on every toothbrush for a few minutes, take it on a walk around the house, and abandon it in a random location. It adds a little excitement to our bedtime routine.

Feeling freshly groomed, time for a snack. As the benefactor of G-bean's soft food diet, E was introduced to pudding. What better way to eat pudding than in the buff. Armed with spoon and bowl, E attempted to feed herself. A new skill she's hoping to add to her arsenal of tricks. We all know how it ends...pudding everywhere. Well our newly dubbed 'pudding painter' was thorough in her work AND thoroughly entertained (for an hour-woohoo!).

The rest of the day was filled with baths, naps, popsicles, and a lot of other kooky things I can't remember... unless I look at my shirt, because I usually end up wearing my day. A smudge of this, shmear of that... All good clean fun!

Tonsil Tango

2008-03-21T20:16:00.001-07:00

In preparation for teenage girls, we had G-bean's tonsils removed. Now we don't have to worry about teenage boys and tonsil hockey! Just kidding. In reality, our sweet little girl snored louder than a chainsaw and packed tonsils the size of ping pong balls.

Thursday we made the dreaded trip to the hospital for G-bean's surgery. I thought that I was prepared, calm and collected. After working there for several years, I knew the drill and the people. It would be an in and out operation- literally! Not so. As I watched them pull away my firstborn in a little red wagon, I lost it. I did what every other parent did, cried and ate a stale bagel while staring at the fish tank. I am not a crier! Leave it to general anesthesia to bring out my emotional side. Don't worry, I pulled it together. And an our later, G-bean was kicking back root beer slushies with the best of them! Kids are so resilient!

Now she is enjoying her diet of Popsicles and Princesses. Yep, for the next 2 weeks we are quarantined. I have a feeling that soft foods and "shows" might get a little old. But until then, I'll enjoy the afternoon snuggles & movies. Thank goodness there are 3 different Cinderella movies.

Run for the Border

2008-03-17T22:37:00.000-07:00

The only running I've done lately would be running for the border. With my pint size posse in tow, we headed to Mexico. R joined us midweek. AAAAAHH, sunshine, surf and as Jimmy Buffet would say "2 Pina Coladas, One for each hand"! It was our much anticipated annual family trip to the beach. Magnifico!

It's amazing how things change. Last year, we traveled with 6 week old E and 3 year old G-bean. This year, that sleepy baby was a maniac on pudgy feet. Two crazy kids, two busy parents, and one plan...pick a kid and keep up! The days were an blur of walks on the beach, pool hopping, tropical drinks, guacamole & chips, naps, good books, great catch up sessions with family, bananas flambe, sand castles, game nights, and great memories. Good for the soul and for the skin! I am proud to report it was an aloe-free trip. No sunburns for my peeps! It was a trip we won't forget, especially with the piles of sand we continue to find.

Polka Dot Party

2008-03-15T21:47:00.000-07:00

First and foremost, I would like to wish a Happy Birthday to my bestest buddy, G-bean! To think that it was 4 years ago that she came down the chute fist first to greet the world. That's my girl...arriving in her own style! I can't believe how fast it has gone. Looking back, I wish I could easily recall every moment of wonder, love, exhaustion, frustration, cluelessness, laughter, tears, etc...but I can't. Maybe that is why I take so many pictures. I do take comfort in knowing that I lived and felt all of those experiences with my girl and hopefully she will remember for both of us. Because as we all know, kids have long memories!

I must admit, I still have those Martha Stewart aspirations for a fabulous B-day party. This year, things went down a little differently. We started the day with an impromptu breakfast party with R's parents and an aunt & uncle. R was making french toast like it was going out of style in the frilly apron G-bean assigned him. We had syrup flowing, balloons floating, and wrapping paper flying. Birthday bliss! This is where the story takes an unexpected turn. In the wake of our breakfast bonanza, we discovered that our birthday girl had some party decorations of her own...red polka dots.

In my calmest voice, I quickly requested that R google chicken pox. One must prepare thyself for the pictures pox patients are willing to post. Unbelievable! What a gift! One that she wouldn't forget in the itchy 2 weeks to come. After consulting with several nurses, it was suggested that we quarantine the G-bean. Of all things, it's her birthday. She has been wearing her birthday crown from school for 2 days and prancing around the house in all of her 4 year old glory...chicken pox really? It was then that our nurse went rogue. Although it was strongly recommended that we avoid the general public (including the doctor's office), our dear nurse cooked up a plan to sneak us in the back door for an official diagnosis. "Operation Party Princess" was on.

What I love about G-bean is that she thought it was an exciting event, which of course required the assistance of her gold glitter shoes. The commute gave me just enough time to mentally reschedule the next few weeks of our lives, prepare to have 2 chicken pox patients, figure out a calling tree for the 16 kids in her school class, and wonder if we started an epidemic that would make the 10 o'clock news by attending Disney Princesses on Ice with 3,000 other children. Germs!!! You become so much more aware of them and what carrier monkeys kids are when you have monkeys of your own!

With our covert entrance a success, G-bean's mysterious polka dots were diagnosed. Are you ready for this? It was a rash from the hot tub she swam in in Mexico. Exotic, but not contagious! Thank goodness, I was prepared for R to seal our house with plastic wrap and spray paint a skull & bones on the sidewalk. I was ecstatic while G-bean was as cool as a cucumber. She just wanted to finish the Dr. Seuss book we were reading. So, we sat in the back of the clinic, long after we were dismissed, giggling and reading the Cat in the Hat. Then with crown held high, we made our grand exit out the front door!

The story does not end with G-bean evading the pox. On our way home, she casually mentioned that she hadn't eaten any cake yet. Bullocks! No cake! So, my homegirl and I went to pick out the most fabulous ghetto Barbie cake from the store. We then headed home for yet another impromptu eating event. This time, a tea party with a hot pink Barbie cake, little sister, large dog, and dear old dad. Followed by some serious fort building. She was delighted!

What a day! Looking back, I am so proud of my polka-doted girl! There was no "but I wanted a pony" moment or disappointment because she spent the afternoon in the doctor's office. She had a great day and a grand adventure. It was then that I realized that I didn't have to provide all of the smoke & mirrors to make the birthday magic happen. At the end of the day, she felt special and loved. Plus, some of her best buddies hooked her up with her first two Barbies ever! From dress ups to plastic divas, our little girl is growing up!

Merely Mortal

2008-03-12T12:28:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those moments when you think to yourself "I am good"! Days where your energy surpasses Richard Simmons and your productivity exceeds a buzzing beehive. You don't mean to toot your own horn, but...TOOT! You contemplate changing your license plate to 'Miss Thang'. You feel like a superhero on pixie sticks. You almost hope the neighbor's cat gets stuck in a tree just so you can use one more power.

Well, today is not one of those days. I woke up feeling every inch the mortal that I am. How does one explain that to children, because the dark glasses and bathrobe in the middle of the afternoon aren't sending the message. How about "Kids, mommy's cape is at the dry cleaners. You are going to have to settle for Lois Lane today. Mommy will be moving slower and ignoring unreasonable demands and whiny voices. Maybe you could go watch Martha Stewart for a few hours and make a list of things for mommy to do when she regains her superpowers." Yeah right!

So how do I get my mojo back?! Any suggestions that don't involve a barrel full of diet coke (YUCK!), a riding whip, spandex unitard, narcotics, bottle rockets in my back pockets or Mexican jumping beans?

Bite Me

2008-02-20T17:47:00.000-08:00

Today I ate an obscene amount of garlic in preparation for tonight. What's tonight you wonder?
Well, I am going to attempt to delve into the world of vampires that has all the mommies sqwaking and the blogs talking. It's this phenomenon called Twilght. I bet you have probably heard about it. I'm a little slow on the uptake. I have been somewhat reluctant to give in. My inner rebel wants me to go against the fang (I mean grain- HA! Freudian slip). I'm not quite sure I have the ability or desire to "fall in love with a vampire". But I was told to look past the nocturnal neck-biting creature and to enjoy the romance in itself. I guess the feeling of love is pretty universal... why not take a chance and sink my teeth into it? (Sorry the puns are just too easy!) Don't worry, I will use a wooden stake as my bookmark.

It's getting late. Time to walk on the darkside. I will now go and attempt to read this with an open mind & closed mouth (garlic breath).

Table for 2

2008-02-17T10:48:00.001-08:00

Well people, I had myself a date Saturday night! Yes siree! I had been fantasizing about it quite a bit lately. Eventhough my husband doesn't read my blog, he finally got the message... "Happy Wife= Happy Life." Translation, R took me out on the town.

It was quite romantical (G-bean lingo). We actually had things to talk about (don't laugh). When you dust off your dating duds and decide that it's okay to sit at a table for 2, I start to get nervous. Will we have anything to talk about after work & kids or will we be that couple eating in awkward silence? Will I remember how to behave in an adult setting? One time I actually asked R if he needed to go potty before we left the house (Yikes!). Never fear, we had a million things to talk about. Things that don't normally get addressed while wrangling midgets and slinging slop. It was refreshing to remember that I have an opinion about the world, politics, Hillary Clinton's pant suits, religion, travel, etc. I don't think that Thai food is a truth serum, but it sure did the trick. R might have even made googley eyes (also G-bean lingo) at me.

Next it was off to a movie. Not only did it turn out to be an entertaining flick, but we also had great seats & tasty treats. Yep, my man showered me with peanut M&M's. It was a true test to my "mommy attention span" aka ADD to sit still for 2 hours and focus. But I was captivated and not just by my candy. To top it off, we did not recieve one frantic call from the babysitter with baby in background practicing higher octaves. SUCCESS!

It doesn't take much to dazzle me these days. Just an evening away from kids and time with R to make me feel like a LADY and not someone's mother.

My Girls

2008-02-11T13:37:00.000-08:00

TADA! G-bean has broken the world record for wardrobe changes. She now changes her clothes a minimum of 5 times a day. We were hoping to temper that by threatening to make her do her own laundry. Her response was pure panic, horror and then she needed to go change again while she "thought about it". She is obsessed with hair. She wants long hair, because princesses have long hair (along with most of her friends). All of her stick figures have quite the manes. The other day mid-meltdown and out of the blue, she blurted out "I want to marry K. You told me I had to marry a boy- it's K and I love him." AHHHHH! Newsflash, aren't you a little too young to be thinking about this? She is giving us a glimpse of what she will be like as a teenager... borderline SCARY. She actually told R not to "freak out". Another favorite "It's just my problem Dad, I do what I want to do". Other than that, princess underpants reign supreme along with playing with friends, the color pink, band aids, Backyardigans, pigtails, climbing & jumping off of furniture, carrying E (big No-No), and macaroni and cheese. I love that she dons a Sleeping Beauty dress by day and sleeps with a Spiderman light by night. One of my favorite things about G-bean is her passion for fashion and life. She is who she is. She plays hard, loves hard, sleeps hard and starts all over again the next day.

E is officially walking and will soon be breaking landspeed records. Her little walk reminds me of Curious George minus the agile tree climbing skills. She has discovered babies and purses (not by my design). It's purely a function of having an older sister. She loves phones. She walks around with a phone to her ear saying "HI" (she doesn't get that from me either). She has been kind enough to greet me the past few mornings with a beaming smile and an explosive diaper. It definitely curbs my enthusiam for morning snuggles while totally grossing out R & G-bean, but how can I resist the little imp. She has become very busy. She pushes furniture around the house, unloads cupboards, and attempts to get her hands on everything & anything she shouldn't. She has a pretty good success rate due to her persistance and determination. She is also querky. She smiles as if she has an inside joke or hisses while giving you the stink eye. I'm convinced that I have seen E roll her eyes when G-bean is having a diva moment. Recently, she has learned to give kisses and gives them freely without discrimination (just ask Jack). It should make me nervous, but I love to hear my girls giggling wildly from another room. In the picture, they are loading up the jogger because G-bean has offered to take E on a trip around the world. E's job is to check the tires (with her teeth). My favorite thing about E would be her adventurous spirit and hands-on approach to life. No task is too small or too gross for the little one.

Well, that is our growing brood...each with their own attitude.

Tag You Are It

2008-02-10T19:44:00.001-08:00

Thanks Kristen.

The rules:

1) Link to the person that tagged you.

2) Post the rules on your blog.

3) Share six non-important things/habits/quirks about yourself.

4) Tag at least three people at the end of your post and link to their blogs.

5) Let each person know they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

6) Let the fun begin!

Okay, so I have evaded this game of blog tag for quite some time. It takes me back to grade school...getting clothes-lined in red rover, getting whacked in the head by a dodgeball (red hair = bullseye), and never being fast enough at freezetag in my jelly shoes. Believe me, you did not aspire to be the "IT" girl. So these are all of my issues with the game, which I will one day work through with a great therapist. But I shouldn't let them get in the way of a little blogging fun.

So here we are, tag 'I'm it'. Only now you want me to spill all my secrets. Reveal all that makes me mysterious. Invite you to look through my living room blinds. Fortunately, you are not asking for anything that indepth. So, I will acquiesce and share six tantalizing tid bits & querks about yours truly.

1. I prefer to eat yogurt with a plastic spoon. While we are on the subject of food, chocolate is my kryptonite.

2. I have self diagnosed seismic sensitivity. I wake up every night convinced we are having an earthquake and curse myself for not being better prepared for a natural disaster.

3. As a result of viewing one too many Lifetime movies (all in the past I assure you), I have security issues. I check under my car and in the backseat. I practice my judo chops and roundhouses religiously. I often wonder "What would Chuck Norris do?" And I lock the door when I go out to get the mail.

4. I am convinced the writer's strike was conspired by some political mastermind. Thus, forcing me to pay more attention the Presidential race and devote less time to my trashy tv shows.

5. I love to people watch. I always wonder where are they from? Where are they going? Was their closet light on when they got dressed? Do they really put on their pants on one leg at a time? I tend to cook up rather extravagent and far fetched bio's for my subjects. For example, crazy cat ladies, karaoke loving accountants, grandma's that love to gamble online. You get the idea. Airports are a perfect setting for this pastime.

6. I like to watch my family sleep, but not in a creepy way. My children look so angelic that I can almost forget the day's events. I give them a million kisses in their sleep. Also, my husband is such a handsome devil, drool and all. I love the sound of his breathing next to me. I sleep horribly when he is out of town.

Now that we've introduced you to some of the skeletons in our closet, I guess we don't need to invite you over for Sunday dinner.

Should they choose to indulge in our voyeurism, I will tag these fabulous fellow bloggers. Drum roll please... Brooke, Allie, Azla and Amy.

The Month of Love

2008-02-09T07:26:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find yourself looking at your spouse across the great abyss of children, responsibilities and commitments thinking, I MISS YOU. I miss us! Do you remember when we were two crazy kids in love ready to take on the world? Now we are two tired grown-ups lucky to make it to the evening news. Don't get me wrong, I love this life we have created. We make a great Batman & Robin, Good cop/ Bad cop, Ron & Veronica (Anchorman reference), but when do we make time to just be R & A?

This is the month of love by-golly. We need to act like it. I am not asking for flower petals sprinkled to the bedroom or candlelight dinners in the buff. All I want is a date. Treat me like a LADY (and not your cleaning lady). I'm not looking for a longterm committment, been there done that. Let's just make a little time so that we stop missing each other... and continue falling in love.

My proposal is this... let's date like those two crazy kids, fog up some windows, and be home by 10pm to relieve the babysitter (and watch the news).

Fashion Sense

2008-02-03T12:31:00.000-08:00

The Secret Life of Me

2008-02-02T22:42:00.001-08:00

It all starts with a casual "How was your day dear?". How does one answer that especially if you are a mom. The real question my dear husband is "How much do you really want to know?"

Do you want to know that I finally got a shower before noon, which is the true sign of a productive day. That ambitious shower I mentioned, it came at a price. E decided to throw anything she could find into the shower with me, while G-bean tried on every item of clothing in her closet. Do I mention E's sneezing incident and the oatmeal & bananas that I am now wearing? Should I share the archeological dig I conducted behind the dryer where I was delighted to find loose change, a favorite lipgloss, rogue sock, missing button & your car keys. Or how I have honed my skills and can make the perfect snowman shaped peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Which must then be presented on the exact same plate & cup, so that we can have equality for midgets that love pink. Do you want to know that I am qualified to wrestle greased pigs after changing our wiggly 1 year old while making phone calls. Would you be interested in the fact that our house is transformed into dress up central with G-bean & friend playing princesses? Nothing like the pitter patter of royal heels. And that sometimes their magical kingdom needs a referee.

Are you curious about E's love of dumping out dog food, fishing in the toilet and placing random phone calls? Do you wonder where I learned to remove ball point pen from a leather couch? I'll give you a clue, it wasn't the Army. Should I tell you the real reason my back hurts is because I want to give piggy back rides & snuggle with our girls until they are too big or too cool. And would you like to hear about the entertaining fieldtrip to the fire station where G-bean decided to share her personal tragedy of being burned by a cookie sheet. (Let that be a lesson to you children- Don't bake.) How about the orchestrating of nap times so that everyone sleeps...without being woken up by the phone, door, dog or sibling. Would you like to know my strategies for making chores sound sooooo exciting that G-bean is inspired to take action? The cleanup song just isn't enough these days (for either of us). Would you be interested in the growing mountain of laundry I have been ignoring... and debating whether a controlled fire would be my best course of action. Should I keep going?

"My day was great dear." Some things are just better left unsaid.

Inner voice: Oh and that sound of the dryer, it's the 4th time that I have fluffed the same load. That hum just makes me feel productive. And no I am not ready for bed early, sweats just looked more appealing.

Happy 1st Birthday To Our Little E-Claire

2008-02-01T10:02:00.000-08:00

One of these things is not like the Other

2008-01-15T23:34:00.000-08:00

Do you ever find yourself repeating the same mistake, but hoping for a different result? Have you ever thought, this time it will be different? Well people I am still learning my lesson.

Let me take you back to where it all began. 29 years ago, I was born an albino. I know, I don't look like your average albino. The blue eyes and violent shock of red hair that I sported as a child excluded me from the typical albino profile. But take me out into the sun and there was no denying it... I glow and not in an ethereal way. Through the years, I held onto the hope that my dormant skin pigment would one day manifest itself into beautiful olive skin. I sound delusional don't I? Most of my friends were praying they wouldn't lock braces with a boy and here I was praying for a solid tan. Eventually the heavens threw me a bone and gave me some freckles, so I was tan 'in spots'. But a girl can only endure being accused of having the chicken pox so many times... Yep, my vanity got me modern day leprosy.

Anyhoo, 29 years later I have come to the realization that I will not tan. I will burn, freckle or glow. Those are my options. I have traded the oil and foil for SPF 50 and a broad rimmed hat. I am bringing sexy back. The point of this whole diatribe is...To spray tan or not to spray tan? Is a tan in a can better than letting go & embracing my glow? You see years ago, they came up with the concept of painting pigment-challenged people such as myself. They needed a guinea pig and I was more than happy to oblige. I have been helping them perfect their products ever since. I have had the colored palms and experienced the many unnatural shades of orange to prove my dedication.

So my question is this, at what point do I embrace my inner Nicole Kidman and let that unattainable Baywatch Beauty run in slow motion off into the sunset?

P.S. I am writing this in anticipation of and preparation for a trip requiring a swimsuit. Yikes!

2008-01-07T12:54:00.001-08:00

I have been accused of many things in life... being a gypsy is one of them. I love to travel! As a result, I never collect too much dust. Whether it's mentally or physically, I love to escape to faraway destinations. R often refers to me as a flight risk. My nomadic nature has the need to move, breathe, and explore with reckless abandon. So on this oppressive grey snow day, I am dreaming of warmer places!

Enjoy one of my favorite postscripts:

"Travel pushes my boundaries. When you travel, you become invisible, if you want. I do want. I like to be the observer. What makes people who they are? Could I feel at home here? No one expects you to have the stack of papers back by Tuesday, or to check messages, or to fertilize the geraniums. When traveling, you have the delectable possibility of not understanding a word of what is said to you. Language becomes simply musical background for watching bicycles zoom alongside a canal, calling for nothing from you. Travel releases spontaneity. You become a godlike creature full of choice, free to visit the stately pleasure domes, make love in the morning, sketch a bell tower. You open, as in childhood, and- for a time- receive this world. There's the visceral aspect, too- the huntress who is free. Free to go, free to return home bringing memories to lay on the hearth."

~Frances Mayes

New Year's Resolutions

2007-12-30T23:00:00.000-08:00

It's that time again...time for me to write the same list every pleasantly plump mother with a superhero complex is currently jotting down. Well, not this year. I thought I would shake things up a bit. Instead I am going to approach this whole resolution rally in a new way.

If I were to write my life story right now, what would I want it to say. Who would I want to be? And what would I want to be doing? Would I want the heroine (yours truly) to be more adventurous? Possibly lead a fascinating life in addition to having a crazy family (time for own interests)? Perhaps I'd throw in a dash of more romance (a regular date night). Maybe I'd add a little mystery (other than where is the other sock)? Perchance some fly by the seat of your pants adventures with little people (that don't involve suspicious tonsils & unexpected doctors visit)? Mix in some exotic locations (excluding a public restroom and a 3 yr. old doing the peepee dance) and I think I'm on to something.

My point is, do books ever make it to the top of the New York Times list with it's lead character writing another to do list? Nope. So on January 1st, instead of sporting my rose colored glasses & gym clothes, my resolution is to live 2008 as if it were a best seller. There will be a smokin' leading lady who might learn to speak Spanish & belly dance; a romance with a tall, dark & handsome man; edge of your seat escapades with my favorite offspring; lots of laughter, tears & more laughter (hormones?!); great escapes to faraway places; gatherings with a smattering of colorful characters aka great family & friends; and many unexpected plot twists and turns. Stay tuned my dear readers, things are about to get crazy up in here!

This is Us

2007-12-30T22:00:00.000-08:00

Let's talk family pictures. It's supposed to be this fabulous snapshot in time right? Then why is it that most of the time we are smiling through gritted teeth while biting our tongue and using the death grip on at least one child.

Do you ever find yourself pleading with frustration, "This is supposed to be fun so SMILE!"? Or better yet, "You'll look back one day and really appreciate this." {Ya right! I heard that same statement about the piano and 29 years later I am still content to have 'Pop goes the Weasel' as the only song on my play list.} Sorry, I digress. Do you hear yourself offering bribes of everything short of a pony, just to see their pearly whites? Still we persevere with these less than picture perfect moments. And I would like to thank everyone that sent us a Christmas card or posted on their blog for their dedication to the cause. Thank you for not giving up. Your efforts did not go unappreciated. The finished product in whatever form was worth the fight. I hope.

Holiday Detox

2007-12-27T15:55:00.000-08:00

There is no better place for Holiday Detox than a snowy cabin in the middle of nowhere. The holidays are full of a lot of hustle & bustle. With all of that cheer comes late nights, decadent foods and crowds of friendly faces. Don't get me wrong, I like to raise a glass of nog with the best of them, but it can be exhausting. And that is all before the man in the big red suit makes his grand entrance.

R & I loaded up our sleigh on Christmas Eve day with 2 little elves, 1 large Jackie Bear in a festive bandana (Thanks groomers!), mysterious packages, and the kitchen sink. We were off 'over the river and through the woods to Montana we go'. Seven hours and a blizzard later, we made it! The girls were excellent passengers, no doubt because Santa was watching. R & I attempted to sing Christmas songs to them the last stretch and failed miserably. It turns out, we both know the first verse of a song and then do a fine job humming the rest. Note to self: Brush up on caroling skills.

Upon settling into our winter wonderland, we quickly donned our uniform for the week...PJ's! It was so magical having a little person in our midst who believes in all the Christmas mystique. Before tucking our little ones in, G-bean asked us to tell Santa hello and to ring his bells quietly so he didn't wake up 'little sister'. Pure Magic!

Christmas morning we awoke to a bright eyed G-bean excitedly telling us how she had heard the bells on Santa's sleigh last night. Following a candy cane trail upstairs, G-bean confirmed the big man's visit. Santa had not only found us, but he had also left the Hello Kitty she had been dreaming of. Oh Santa, you are good!

A week of leisure and adventure finished off our holiday. Sleeping in, playing in snow, skiing at Big Sky, snacking on our Holiday booty (everyone brought their sugary goods), rowdy card games, playing with Santa's gifts, -3 degree weather, teaching G-bean how to ski, teaching E how to walk, lazy afternoon naps, Sushi night with relatives, visiting the grizzly bears (G-beans favorite), hot-tubbing, reading a good book by the fire... what a week. A highlight was meditating in an upside down yoga pose with Eucalyptus scents while my mother impersonated her Yoga instructor with a metal stool for her makeshift gong. Never a dull moment in the land of crazies aka my family.

We would like to wish you and yours Happy Christmas, Joyous Kwanza & a Merry New Year!

Dog Day Afternoon

2007-11-18T19:06:00.000-08:00

Recently G-bean and I read the book, Everybody Needs A Rock. If you haven't read it, you must. It gives 10 rules for selecting the perfect pebble. There truly is an art to this scavenger expedition. The most important rule of all, no one can do it for you! Little Miss Independent, G-bean really took to that rule.

On Saturday, the natives at our house were restless. G-bean & I decided to take our trusty 4 legged friend Jack to the dog park for some good old fashioned rock hunting. I quickly found out there could quite possibly be more than 1 perfect rock. Perhaps there could be 20 perfect rocks. Needless to say, the bag got heavy and the little lady got tired. Note to self, bring a wheelbarrow next time.

Thank goodness I already found my Rock, because he wouldn't fit in the bag.