What's My Motivation?

Random Tidbits

Ever since our little Nancy Reagan launched her "Just Say NO" campaign, things have been a little testy around here. Everything receives one answer. E would you like some juice? NO! E is the world flat? NO!! E do these pants make me look fat? NO!!! Yep, that expanding vocabulary I mentioned is now contracting to a mere 2 letter word. Goodness we are getting creative around here.

I made my first bid on Ebay, which is the closest I'll ever get to online gambling. I lost of course. I knew I should have gone to MIT.

R & I watched Dan in Real Life again. I love that movie. Perhaps because it foreshadows our future with daughters. R is looking forward to being a "murder of love" and greeting boyfriends with a shotgun. I on the other hand, look forward to the organized chaos and endless drama.

G-bean is devastated that school has ended as am I. She is comforting herself with our summer's supply of Popsicles and long rides on her bike. She is all about 'circle toast' (English muffins), character band-aids that cure everything, sporting tank tops & pig tails, decapitating tulips and mothering E. G-bean has been quite confused as of late wondering if no really means no due to E's new one word wonder. Yes G-bean, no means 'don't ask again', maybe means 'drop it' and yes means 'yes & remember how cool I am when you are a teenager'. See clear as mud!

R & I celebrated our 8th anniversary! To quote the infamous Micheal Jackson, "And they said it wouldn't last." It was a glorious occasion. We went out to dinner and grocery shopping. It doesn't get much hotter than that. Ooooh maybe if you threw in a sink full of dishes, poopy diaper change and detailing my car that would really turn up the heat. Now that makes my heart go pitterpatter. You might even consider that foreplay. We have actually been courting one another for the past 15 years. We don't count the spitballs in 3rd grade. So half of my life, I have been with this strange fellow named R. I think he's a keeper.

We have a revolving door at our nudist colony. E has figured out how to take her clothes off at nap time. Now she winds down by stripping and wakes up in the buff. As for G-bean, she has decided that it is now kosher to sleep in pajamas...at age 4.

That's us in a nutshell this week... or shall I say that's us in the nut house this week! I have to go, R just invited me to watch Pride & Prejudice. I think...No, I know it's a trick to get me off the computer...but I'm falling for it. Doogie Howser signing off.

Latest & Greatest

Life under our big top is rolling along. Most days, I am lucky to keep up. Let's see the cliff notes... Palm Springs with R's family, my 30th b-day, family gatherings, Cinqo de Mayo party, Jazz playoffs, basketball tournaments, fieldtrips, co-oping at G-bean's school, speaking in church, playdates, soccer, etc. Hmmmm I am sure there is more...perhaps I blocked it out. This is what I do know about the latest and greatest for our little ladies.

Miss G-bean the dancing queen is still styling her way through life. She wakes up at 6:45am every morning and quickly dresses herself in her latest fashion creation. She then proceeds to the living room for her morning dose of "shows" while eating breakfast with dad. E & I show up on the scene at a more reasonable hour. G-bean loves to write her letters and draw pictures. She has now found a way to combine both passions... making signs. She has posted a sign on her door to keep E out. E only has permission to enter at bedtime. Oh the things cartoons teach. Her new catch phrase "Things are about to get crazy in here". She is quite the little mother packing her little sis all over the house. When she wakes up from her nap, she sneaks across the hall and breaks E out of the porta-crib. She tips it over, E rolls out giggling and it's off to play. I love this age, because G-bean is my little helper and friend. When we cook, she ties on my apron and helps plan the menu. The other day we sat in a patch of sun on the carpet and read cookbooks like romance novels. We like to crank up the music and practice our new dance moves. She is absolutely thrilled that she now has the 'longest hair' in our family. I think she has developed the Pantene hair toss. It's so fun to have big girl conversations and see the world through her eyes. She likes to point out things that only 'big girls' get to do. My most favorite thing of all is the bond I see with G-bean and E. When we close the door at night, we hear nothing but giggles and the squeak of bed springs until they both pass out from exhaustion.

E is our little Muppet. She waddles through her day with her Monkee's mullet and toothy grin. E has her pudgy hands in everything. Her mantra 'Leave nothing untouched or untasted'. She likes to motor around the house mimicking her big sis by attempting to ride scooters, try on sparkle shoes, and chew on Barbies. After a hard days play, she has 2 ways of sleeping: 1- like she has fallen out of the sky without a parachute, 2-like a rhinoceros that has been tranquilized. She is quirky. She is climbing everything! We keep finding her on table tops, scaling high chairs, and on top of boxes. In her spare time, she is still fighting the tartar war by rummaging through our toothpaste drawer. G-bean posted a sign on the drawer discouraging such behavior, but E conveniently can't understand signage. As a result, E eats about a tablespoon of Dora toothpaste a day. There has got to be some nutritional value in that. She has learned that infamous word that makes a parent's blood run cold... "NO". Fortunately she is still testing it out. I love her expanding vocabulary. For better or worse, she understands everything we are saying. Yikes!

Even though life feels crazy, this is such a magical time. Glad we could share it with you!

Welcome to Suburbia!

Soccer season has kicked off once again! We have dusted off our theme song of "Busta Move" and we are rollin' on out to the field. G-bean's dedication to the sport has increased slightly. While she still hugs her best friend M, dances around and makes grass pies on the field (most of the time), she has had moments of greatness. E on the other hand, mans the sidelines as cheerleader and guardian of halftime treats. It's a family affair!

Did I shave my legs for this?

It's that time of year again. Time to get my tires kicked and my oil changed at the "girly doctor". It's not easy keeping up a body that is 3 decades old. Maintenance is required. You would think that I would be ecstatic at the thought of sitting alone in a room full of elevator music and magazines for an undetermined amount of time. After all, it is a chance to catch up on my Women's Day, Woman's Weekly and Reader's Digest. Stimulating reads my people! I guess providing all those publications really cuts down on those awkward moments of wondering if you are in the right place. I was. Patiently waiting through the lottery of names, mine finally came up. Woohoo! (sarcasm included).

Off to the scale, which is more like confessional. The second I stood up on that metal platform, I immediately started confessing all of the shortcomings in my diet. The nurse gave me an unsympathetic look that said it all..."Here's a quarter honey. Call someone who cares or go buy another candy bar". I guess I'm not the only one. Next event, paper gown fashion show. Glamorous and breezy, what more could a girl ask for. After enjoying my recyclable outfit for a good 45 minutes with my back to the door, the doctor appeared on the scene. Why do they arrange the room so your back is to the door? Hello, here is my best side come on in!

I swear she must have turned up the heat, because the sight of those rubber gloves made me sweat like a banchee. This is only time I shy from hot pads. You know, the ones so gingerly placed over those shiny stirrups. At this point, I overcompensate by attempting to act normal which in turn makes me act even more abnormal. I start babbling on about the weather, chia pets, American Idol (which I don't really watch), lawn bowling, yada yada. Before I know it, I feel like I am having an out of body experience listening to this crazy who sounds like me. I am so uncool...and hot did I mention hot? Because while yammering on, I started to have every woman's fear of losing control of all body functions at an inopportune time. Oh the shame. Crisis averted. The only thing I couldn't control was my mouth and the doctor isn't paid to tell me to shut it. After tinkering around under my paper tent with her medieval salad tongs, the doctor pretty much pronounced "it's a girl" and was on her way. Yep, I am a girl...I probably could have told you that before the stirrups.

Piano Man

"Sing us a song, you're the piano man.
Sing us a song tonight.
Well, were all in the mood for a melody,
And you've got us feeling alright."
~Billy Joel

Multi-tasking man-style! I think it might be selective. He's not refereeing children, making dinner, talking on the phone, and taking out the trash while riding a unicycle, but this will do just fine. Play on....

Say AHHHHHHH

Behind every great set of pearly whites, there's a great dentist. It is a noble profession, especially when my dragon breath is your 8am appointment. I went today. I love my dentist who also happens to be one of my father's frat buddies. I don't know if that helps his credibility. No, I did not have to drink fluoride out of a boot while getting paddled. Hazing is now against the law people! He must have been a real hoot back in the day with his party tricks. Because for some reason, he seemed to enjoy asking questions right as he was wedging a grown man's fist in my mouth. Thank goodness he strapped a bib on me, because my response went a little like this "Hmmmrrpphhmmrrpphpmm" with a lot of drool. I literally did "talk to the hand". As my mouth was resuming it's original shape, I further attempted to exchange pleasantries. This too proved difficult considering he was wielding an object that could remove tartar and an eyeball. No sudden movements! Feel free to just tell me the story- no need to act it out!

To top it off, I don't think honesty is always the best policy even if you are wearing a white lab coat. Things were wrapping up when I decided to mention a newly discovered chip on my tooth. Can't quite pinpoint the cause...radio flyer accident, first and only girl fight, opening a pickle jar, the possibilities are endless. I was just curious. I wasn't looking for an extreme makeover. My dentist decided to take the road that should be less traveled by. He decided to ease my worries by pointing out another chip here, a crooked tooth there, and so on. I started to feel like snaggletooth- a snaggletooth that should ask for her money back. Yep, one little chip became a laundry list of imperfections. Gosh, I'd like to have this guy around on my worst day. I encouraged him to keep going, but to let me get a magic marker so he could circle the afflicted areas. Seriously buddy, keep going until you get to my love handles. HA! In hindsight, I should have shoved my fist in his mouth while he was talking. That is the last time I point out what I refer to as 'flaws that add character'. And heaven forbid I get a cavity- he might just point out that I have one leg shorter than the other.