One of these things is not like the Other

Do you ever find yourself repeating the same mistake, but hoping for a different result? Have you ever thought, this time it will be different? Well people I am still learning my lesson.

Let me take you back to where it all began. 29 years ago, I was born an albino. I know, I don't look like your average albino. The blue eyes and violent shock of red hair that I sported as a child excluded me from the typical albino profile. But take me out into the sun and there was no denying it... I glow and not in an ethereal way. Through the years, I held onto the hope that my dormant skin pigment would one day manifest itself into beautiful olive skin. I sound delusional don't I? Most of my friends were praying they wouldn't lock braces with a boy and here I was praying for a solid tan. Eventually the heavens threw me a bone and gave me some freckles, so I was tan 'in spots'. But a girl can only endure being accused of having the chicken pox so many times... Yep, my vanity got me modern day leprosy.

Anyhoo, 29 years later I have come to the realization that I will not tan. I will burn, freckle or glow. Those are my options. I have traded the oil and foil for SPF 50 and a broad rimmed hat. I am bringing sexy back. The point of this whole diatribe is...To spray tan or not to spray tan? Is a tan in a can better than letting go & embracing my glow? You see years ago, they came up with the concept of painting pigment-challenged people such as myself. They needed a guinea pig and I was more than happy to oblige. I have been helping them perfect their products ever since. I have had the colored palms and experienced the many unnatural shades of orange to prove my dedication.

So my question is this, at what point do I embrace my inner Nicole Kidman and let that unattainable Baywatch Beauty run in slow motion off into the sunset?

P.S. I am writing this in anticipation of and preparation for a trip requiring a swimsuit. Yikes!

I have been accused of many things in life... being a gypsy is one of them. I love to travel! As a result, I never collect too much dust. Whether it's mentally or physically, I love to escape to faraway destinations. R often refers to me as a flight risk. My nomadic nature has the need to move, breathe, and explore with reckless abandon. So on this oppressive grey snow day, I am dreaming of warmer places!

Enjoy one of my favorite postscripts:

"Travel pushes my boundaries. When you travel, you become invisible, if you want. I do want. I like to be the observer. What makes people who they are? Could I feel at home here? No one expects you to have the stack of papers back by Tuesday, or to check messages, or to fertilize the geraniums. When traveling, you have the delectable possibility of not understanding a word of what is said to you. Language becomes simply musical background for watching bicycles zoom alongside a canal, calling for nothing from you. Travel releases spontaneity. You become a godlike creature full of choice, free to visit the stately pleasure domes, make love in the morning, sketch a bell tower. You open, as in childhood, and- for a time- receive this world. There's the visceral aspect, too- the huntress who is free. Free to go, free to return home bringing memories to lay on the hearth."

~Frances Mayes

New Year's Resolutions

It's that time again...time for me to write the same list every pleasantly plump mother with a superhero complex is currently jotting down. Well, not this year. I thought I would shake things up a bit. Instead I am going to approach this whole resolution rally in a new way.

If I were to write my life story right now, what would I want it to say. Who would I want to be? And what would I want to be doing? Would I want the heroine (yours truly) to be more adventurous? Possibly lead a fascinating life in addition to having a crazy family (time for own interests)? Perhaps I'd throw in a dash of more romance (a regular date night). Maybe I'd add a little mystery (other than where is the other sock)? Perchance some fly by the seat of your pants adventures with little people (that don't involve suspicious tonsils & unexpected doctors visit)? Mix in some exotic locations (excluding a public restroom and a 3 yr. old doing the peepee dance) and I think I'm on to something.

My point is, do books ever make it to the top of the New York Times list with it's lead character writing another to do list? Nope. So on January 1st, instead of sporting my rose colored glasses & gym clothes, my resolution is to live 2008 as if it were a best seller. There will be a smokin' leading lady who might learn to speak Spanish & belly dance; a romance with a tall, dark & handsome man; edge of your seat escapades with my favorite offspring; lots of laughter, tears & more laughter (hormones?!); great escapes to faraway places; gatherings with a smattering of colorful characters aka great family & friends; and many unexpected plot twists and turns. Stay tuned my dear readers, things are about to get crazy up in here!

This is Us

Let's talk family pictures. It's supposed to be this fabulous snapshot in time right? Then why is it that most of the time we are smiling through gritted teeth while biting our tongue and using the death grip on at least one child.

Do you ever find yourself pleading with frustration, "This is supposed to be fun so SMILE!"? Or better yet, "You'll look back one day and really appreciate this." {Ya right! I heard that same statement about the piano and 29 years later I am still content to have 'Pop goes the Weasel' as the only song on my play list.} Sorry, I digress. Do you hear yourself offering bribes of everything short of a pony, just to see their pearly whites? Still we persevere with these less than picture perfect moments. And I would like to thank everyone that sent us a Christmas card or posted on their blog for their dedication to the cause. Thank you for not giving up. Your efforts did not go unappreciated. The finished product in whatever form was worth the fight. I hope.

Holiday Detox

There is no better place for Holiday Detox than a snowy cabin in the middle of nowhere. The holidays are full of a lot of hustle & bustle. With all of that cheer comes late nights, decadent foods and crowds of friendly faces. Don't get me wrong, I like to raise a glass of nog with the best of them, but it can be exhausting. And that is all before the man in the big red suit makes his grand entrance.

R & I loaded up our sleigh on Christmas Eve day with 2 little elves, 1 large Jackie Bear in a festive bandana (Thanks groomers!), mysterious packages, and the kitchen sink. We were off 'over the river and through the woods to Montana we go'. Seven hours and a blizzard later, we made it! The girls were excellent passengers, no doubt because Santa was watching. R & I attempted to sing Christmas songs to them the last stretch and failed miserably. It turns out, we both know the first verse of a song and then do a fine job humming the rest. Note to self: Brush up on caroling skills.

Upon settling into our winter wonderland, we quickly donned our uniform for the week...PJ's! It was so magical having a little person in our midst who believes in all the Christmas mystique. Before tucking our little ones in, G-bean asked us to tell Santa hello and to ring his bells quietly so he didn't wake up 'little sister'. Pure Magic!

Christmas morning we awoke to a bright eyed G-bean excitedly telling us how she had heard the bells on Santa's sleigh last night. Following a candy cane trail upstairs, G-bean confirmed the big man's visit. Santa had not only found us, but he had also left the Hello Kitty she had been dreaming of. Oh Santa, you are good!

A week of leisure and adventure finished off our holiday. Sleeping in, playing in snow, skiing at Big Sky, snacking on our Holiday booty (everyone brought their sugary goods), rowdy card games, playing with Santa's gifts, -3 degree weather, teaching G-bean how to ski, teaching E how to walk, lazy afternoon naps, Sushi night with relatives, visiting the grizzly bears (G-beans favorite), hot-tubbing, reading a good book by the fire... what a week. A highlight was meditating in an upside down yoga pose with Eucalyptus scents while my mother impersonated her Yoga instructor with a metal stool for her makeshift gong. Never a dull moment in the land of crazies aka my family.

We would like to wish you and yours Happy Christmas, Joyous Kwanza & a Merry New Year!

Dog Day Afternoon

Recently G-bean and I read the book, Everybody Needs A Rock. If you haven't read it, you must. It gives 10 rules for selecting the perfect pebble. There truly is an art to this scavenger expedition. The most important rule of all, no one can do it for you! Little Miss Independent, G-bean really took to that rule.

On Saturday, the natives at our house were restless. G-bean & I decided to take our trusty 4 legged friend Jack to the dog park for some good old fashioned rock hunting. I quickly found out there could quite possibly be more than 1 perfect rock. Perhaps there could be 20 perfect rocks. Needless to say, the bag got heavy and the little lady got tired. Note to self, bring a wheelbarrow next time.

Thank goodness I already found my Rock, because he wouldn't fit in the bag.

Misery Loves Company

They say that misery loves company...that would be the case with Miss E's pearly whites. It wasn't enough to want 2 (more) front teeth for Christmas or wait to find a diamond encrusted rapstar grill in her stocking, E decided to take matters into her own hands (or should I say mouth). As a result, she is currently working on 4 top teeth and a new bottom tooth. Yowsers! Drool, teething tablets and gnawing on germ infested surfaces are all the rage at our house. If you happen to drop by, watch out for our little ankle-biter.