Never Say Never

I learned quickly in life to never say never. For example, I will never admit my mad teenage crush for Jon from New Kids on the Block; I will never go to bed before the news; I will never act like that when I am married; I will never use engineered underwear in lieu of exercise; I will never make my kid do that when I am a parent; yada yada. I also said I would never wear a bra and thank goodness I went back on that one! My point is, eating your words is far less appetizing than eating cookies. So, NEVER SAY NEVER!

Well, I NEVER expected to find myself at the American Idol Tour Concert. Don't adjust your screens...you read it correctly. I myself avoided Idol fever, but my mom & mother-in-law weren't so lucky. In my whole life, I cannot recall my mother ever watching TV let alone following a series. (Too bad my children can't say the same.) It all changed when a smiley little fellow named David Archuletta hit the scene. Let's just say the mom squad's inner groupie emerged full force. Sunday dinners were spent discussing their weekly performances & critiques. The Moms even went as far as exchanging a downloaded Archuletta mix (adorned by a homemade cd cover with his picture on it). Crazy I know!

When opportunity knocks buy a ticket. So with the help of my in-laws & sister, I surprised my Mom and took her too the concert. Sandwiched between two uber fans, I witnessed both "Moms" squealing like teenagers and trading "AI" facts & favorite moments. When the concert started, you better believe they were perched on the edge of their seats with binoculars! These women were hard core. My sister I could not compete with their enthusiasm. I guess you reach a certain point in your life where you look for something or someone to believe in. Since all their children are raised, they chose "Archie". He's hotter than menopause & has the "pipes of an angel"!

Overall it was an entertaining evening. One I NEVER thought I'd experience, but one I am glad I did. I am always up for a party, but I was most excited to observe my 2 Mom's" rock out like school girls!

My only regret... not providing them with glittery homemade posters to wave around.

Hip Hop Don't Stop

The fantasy has become a reality. Tonight I had my second Hip Hop dance class. I am now "a part of a rhythm nation." Thanks to my teacher and Janet Jackson. It is quite entertaining attempting to coordinate mind & body to the same beat. I think I have a 10 second delay or need for an oil can (watch out tin man). For my first class, I was tempted to make up a shady past and a sweet stage name just to get into character. Turns out, no one needs your name. They just want to see your moves. I did however subconsciously roll up one baggy pant leg, just to add to my street cred. I was trying to channel my inner LL Cool J. Thank goodness they didn't ask to see my abs. LL's hard to beat in that department.

This is quite an accomplishment for someone with a white girl rhythm and a dream. As a child I dabbled in modern dance, which only qualified me to flit across the stage like a leaf blowing in the wind while wearing a flesh colored unitard. UNTIL NOW! These days, I find myself bouncing to the beats of Usher and friends. My kids are treated to a rapper's delight on a daily basis. E sits in her high chair yelling "YEAH!" while waving her 'arms in the air like she just don't care'. G-bean is attempting to master the head spin on our wood floors. And I keep practicing those fabulous 3 counts of 8 that I learned in class. R finds the Hip Hop craze that has hit our house quite amusing. Don't worry, he's been known to bust a move, but I'm not supposed to advertise that. I will keep you posted on my progress. Next week we are learning how to "Pop & Lock". It's going to be off the chain. Right now I need to go take some Advil and ice my back. Dreams are hard work people! It's not all gold chains and glamour! If I keep this up, I am a boom box and a sheet of cardboard away from being a legit performer.

In the newly acquired words of G-bean, "You better check yourself, before you wreck yourself." WORD...

Deep Thoughts by G-Bean

Lately we have had some lively discussions with our resident red-head. The questions are definitely getting more difficult. I feel like I need more time to collect my thoughts! Here are these blue eyes full of wonder waiting to absorb any information I give her as fact. No pressure right? I do not relish in this type of authority. I do not profess to know it all, nor do I want too. But when she asks, I can practically hear the Jeopardy music begin to play. Let me give you some examples.

-Question: Mom, where did I come out of and HOW?
-Answer: G-bean, I myself often wonder about that. Mommy was very happy (medicated) at the time and can't remember all of the details. But you came into this world in style.

-Question: Mom, can Daddy grow a cool mustache? Can I have one too?
-Answer: Well, Dad can grow one, but he starts to creep out the neighbors. And girls
can't grow mustaches. [RETRACTION] Actually honey, there are some women who can grow
some really nice ones, but don't stare directly at them. If mommy ever grows one when she gets old, it is your responsibility to wax it.

-Question: Mom, do you and Daddy have "True Love's Kiss"? (She watches Enchanted ALOT!)Answer: Some days. And the days we don't... Well, we just have to work a little harder for the magic.

-Reaction: That's not like the movie.

Mom Reaction: Yeah that stuff is propaganda.

Question: What's propaganda?

*And to think, we have only just begun to answer life's mysteries.

Whenever we go to Maja & Papa T's house (aka grandparent's house), it's always an adventure. A few weekends ago we had a game night & sleepover. We love going to their house because we hunker down in their kitchen and cook like mad scientists. Everyone gets to come up with their own concoction for us all to sample. G-bean specializes in veggie dips. We dance, visit, bake, bathe, and whatever else we can think of. On this particular rainy weekend, we made chocolate chip cookies while bathing E. E had the ingenious idea of combining 2 of her passions, eating hot cookies in the bath. Meanwhile, G-bean got a "mani & pedi" from one of her favorite aunts. Maja danced around like a crazy lady and our faithful Jack dog stood watch (hoping E would drop a cookie).

Since the men of our family are clearly outnumbered, they tend to make themselves scarce once all the 'hens' gather. Instead of running for the hills, they headed out for a round of golf. The weather did break for a little outdoor recreation. The girls even got to feed horses and pet a 'baby horse'. It was a great escape! Thanks again.

Okay, I am just going to say it... Every night I tuck in my children and every morning I tuck in my muffin top! I only enjoy the night time routine. Summer is a painful season. It's baring it all at the neighborhood pool in hopes that your kid will learn to swim before people realize that is not an innertube built into your suit. Let us strip away the layers of fleece & wool only to see what hibernation, children & a long winter have left behind. Speaking of behinds, the other day while donning my summer duds I compared the look of my backside to 2 pigs wrestling in a blanket. Sorry, I am a visual person.

Never fear, I am a firm believer that I got myself into this mess, so I can exercise my way out of it. Hence the Sunday night re-dedication to fitness. Here is a week in review. Monday went fairly well until we got kicked out of the 'Mommy gym'. Yep, E formed a union of kids with an aversion to mothers working out. Tuesday, G-bean and I attempted to do Pilate's, which became a demonstration in how flexible 4 year olds are and how 30 year olds should feel lucky to fasten their own bra. Upon completing 50 minutes of pretzel impressions and back bends, G-bean hovered around me for the rest of the day concerned about my back. Is my age and lack of physical prowess that obvious? Wednesday hmmmmmm Wednesday. I ate a back of chips while watching a fitness show. As if that wasn't ambitious enough, I attempted to clean my house to the beat of my workout mix. I think I broke a sweat. We did go for a bike ride, but due to the 90 lbs of fun (kids & trailer) hooked to my bike we had to avoid major hills. To the average passerby, it looked like I was pedaling in slow motion on the slightest grade. Today...well I've got an hour before bed maybe I'll come up with something. I just flexed and I think I pulled something- let's call it a day.

The point of this whole diatribe is this, fitness is exhausting. It's one more area of life that you have to exert yourself and hope for results. Sounds like marriage and kids! Sometimes I feel like I could see more results by banging my head against the wall for 3 reps of 12.

So I am asking for ideas, because my whole sit & be fit routine isn't working. Plus, I know my path in life is paved with baked goods, so how do I find the balance and my 16 year old behind?

What's My Motivation?

Random Tidbits

Ever since our little Nancy Reagan launched her "Just Say NO" campaign, things have been a little testy around here. Everything receives one answer. E would you like some juice? NO! E is the world flat? NO!! E do these pants make me look fat? NO!!! Yep, that expanding vocabulary I mentioned is now contracting to a mere 2 letter word. Goodness we are getting creative around here.

I made my first bid on Ebay, which is the closest I'll ever get to online gambling. I lost of course. I knew I should have gone to MIT.

R & I watched Dan in Real Life again. I love that movie. Perhaps because it foreshadows our future with daughters. R is looking forward to being a "murder of love" and greeting boyfriends with a shotgun. I on the other hand, look forward to the organized chaos and endless drama.

G-bean is devastated that school has ended as am I. She is comforting herself with our summer's supply of Popsicles and long rides on her bike. She is all about 'circle toast' (English muffins), character band-aids that cure everything, sporting tank tops & pig tails, decapitating tulips and mothering E. G-bean has been quite confused as of late wondering if no really means no due to E's new one word wonder. Yes G-bean, no means 'don't ask again', maybe means 'drop it' and yes means 'yes & remember how cool I am when you are a teenager'. See clear as mud!

R & I celebrated our 8th anniversary! To quote the infamous Micheal Jackson, "And they said it wouldn't last." It was a glorious occasion. We went out to dinner and grocery shopping. It doesn't get much hotter than that. Ooooh maybe if you threw in a sink full of dishes, poopy diaper change and detailing my car that would really turn up the heat. Now that makes my heart go pitterpatter. You might even consider that foreplay. We have actually been courting one another for the past 15 years. We don't count the spitballs in 3rd grade. So half of my life, I have been with this strange fellow named R. I think he's a keeper.

We have a revolving door at our nudist colony. E has figured out how to take her clothes off at nap time. Now she winds down by stripping and wakes up in the buff. As for G-bean, she has decided that it is now kosher to sleep in pajamas...at age 4.

That's us in a nutshell this week... or shall I say that's us in the nut house this week! I have to go, R just invited me to watch Pride & Prejudice. I think...No, I know it's a trick to get me off the computer...but I'm falling for it. Doogie Howser signing off.