Thursday, October 2, 2008

Cravings or Ravings?

You know you are in bad shape when Frito's & Cranberry juice sound better than being stranded on a tropical island with a masseuse! Oh the things that go bump in the night in this belly o' mine. This week I have already polished off 1 jar of pimento stuffed green olives, half a jar of pickles, guzzled 2 gallons of milk, and downed my weight in sourdough toast. People- are these legitimate cravings or mad woman ravings? My world is nothing but salt & sour. Baking has lost it's luster while opening brine-filled jars brings such delight! Who am I? Who has taken over my body? I feel like one of those capsules where you just add water until they balloon up into some odd shaped creature. It's not all weird science. I do find myself giggling at the absurdity of my breakfast. All I can handle is Special K which boldly promises to take inches off my waistline. Ironically mine seems to grow a few inches each week. I have thought about complaining to Kellogg's just for my amusement.

I finally surrendered to this force of nature called pregnancy. I pulled out the paneled pants. YUP! I laughed, scoffed & dismissed the idea of those spandex contraptions. I told R it was way too soon. "I am still a svelte woman," I claimed. Alas when I tried them on for entertainments sake, let's just say I wasn't so amused. It was then that R admitted how wonderful they looked. Wonderful?! Upon further investigation, he admitted that I haven't looked comfortable in my jeans for a few weeks now. In not so many words, the man told me I had been walking around looking like a stuffed sausage coming out of its casing. Hmmmm...I guess panels aren't that bad.

10 comments:

Posh Ideas said...

Oh the things pregnancy does to us. I remember thinking I could chug a whole gallon of milk but have never been so fond of it otherwise. Well embrace the elasticity! I just get bummbed postpardum still ravashing hungry from nursing thinking I'm going to have to zip up my pants?

Emilee said...

i am loughing out loud at work.. i wonder if people at the office are thinking the same thing about me looking so uncomfortable in all my clothing and i am not even pregnant!! your blog always gives me a good smile.

Unknown said...

I haven't talked to you for so long or seen you ... so I think I forgot Joni told me about your newest addition....congrats on the boy!!! I am so excited for you. Let me know how 3 goes.

Tori Dumke said...

Oh Lirpa, you're too funny. The sad thing is, I relate to your salty cravings all too well, and I don't have the pregnancy excuse! Pickles, olives, and hearts of palm give me immense satisfaction. Sodium before sweets for now I guess. I hope I'll be seeing you at Thanksgiving because I need to see you and your darling little kiddles!

Fancy Pants said...

Hey girl, great to see you!! I think it has been ages since I have seen you!! I hope that all is well. Your family looks like you are all doing amazing!! (except for all the head cases.)
-Shantel

Brooke said...

What is it about the green pimento olives? I couldn't eat enough of them when I was pregnant with Belle and Grey. You should definitely write Kelloggs. The panel pants are depressing. Even more depressing when that's all that fits after baby is born.

Amy said...

I second Brooke's comment, everything she says. I still have a soft spot in my daily cravings for pimentos.

Ritch in Love said...

I swear April, you crack me up. I haven't dropped by in a few weeks because of the maadness and mayhem I call my life. My girlfriend just found out she is pregnant and has the funniest blog. You'd like it: www.buninthetoaster.blogspot.com

The Peay's said...

Hey April. I always come to your blog when I need a good laugh. I am so glad I will be seeing more of you. Congrats on the baby boy!!! Oh the things pregnancy does to you. When I was pregnant with sam I ate bags of cheese doritos and ice cream. It did wonders for my weight. Those crazy boys. Keep in touch I can't wait till you move in!!!

Bill Tanna Ava Fox said...

you seriously make my day with your wonderful thoughts on things that happen to all of us!! Pregnancy is so......WONDERFUL?