I have officially cornered the market on time travel. I am not referring to the Napoleon Dynamite crotch shocking crowbar. I am talking about going back in time without even leaving your house. Curiosity peaked? It's called cleaning out your closet. Yep, today I walked into my closet and went back in time. I unearthed artifacts dating back to the early 90's. Short of finding Girbaud's, a Unit's ensemble and a neon Bodyglove swimsuit with the zipper, the items I found looked like they belonged on the set of Saved By The Bell. I am pretty sure that 12 years ago, I might have turned Zach Morris' head. But worn now, you might have to report me to the fashion police.
So, why do I hold on to all this stuff? Do I hope it will come back in style? Because some styles were pretty horrendous the first go round. Sentimental value? Future dress ups? (That's always my rationale). Reliving the glory day's- HA!? Even worse, am I still actually wearing it?Whatever the reason, it's time to let go.
Before I entered my time warp of a closet, I set some parameters for purging. Have I worn it in the last year? How shapeless and stained does it need to be for disposal? Do I have a photograph of me wearing it in a yearbook (junior high? high school?)? Does it fit? Does it fit well... or just look okay, but only if I squint, suck in & stand on one leg? Do I feel like a million bucks in it or just sale rack price I paid for it? Am I willing to walk the runway?
You hear about the stages of grief, I think I experienced all of them. SHOCK & DENIAL- I wore this in public? This fit?! I could make this fit. I might need it one day. BARGAINING- It might come back in style? Now that I know this is in my closet, I will totally wear it. G-bean would love this as a dress up. DEPRESSION- How could the fashion gods do this to me? I knew comfort came at a price! ACCEPTANCE- Out with the old, in with the new.
Five bags of clothing later, I am pleased to tell you that I have returned to the year 2007.