The Secret Life of Me

It all starts with a casual "How was your day dear?". How does one answer that especially if you are a mom. The real question my dear husband is "How much do you really want to know?"

Do you want to know that I finally got a shower before noon, which is the true sign of a productive day. That ambitious shower I mentioned, it came at a price. E decided to throw anything she could find into the shower with me, while G-bean tried on every item of clothing in her closet. Do I mention E's sneezing incident and the oatmeal & bananas that I am now wearing? Should I share the archeological dig I conducted behind the dryer where I was delighted to find loose change, a favorite lipgloss, rogue sock, missing button & your car keys. Or how I have honed my skills and can make the perfect snowman shaped peanut butter & jelly sandwich. Which must then be presented on the exact same plate & cup, so that we can have equality for midgets that love pink. Do you want to know that I am qualified to wrestle greased pigs after changing our wiggly 1 year old while making phone calls. Would you be interested in the fact that our house is transformed into dress up central with G-bean & friend playing princesses? Nothing like the pitter patter of royal heels. And that sometimes their magical kingdom needs a referee.

Are you curious about E's love of dumping out dog food, fishing in the toilet and placing random phone calls? Do you wonder where I learned to remove ball point pen from a leather couch? I'll give you a clue, it wasn't the Army. Should I tell you the real reason my back hurts is because I want to give piggy back rides & snuggle with our girls until they are too big or too cool. And would you like to hear about the entertaining fieldtrip to the fire station where G-bean decided to share her personal tragedy of being burned by a cookie sheet. (Let that be a lesson to you children- Don't bake.) How about the orchestrating of nap times so that everyone sleeps...without being woken up by the phone, door, dog or sibling. Would you like to know my strategies for making chores sound sooooo exciting that G-bean is inspired to take action? The cleanup song just isn't enough these days (for either of us). Would you be interested in the growing mountain of laundry I have been ignoring... and debating whether a controlled fire would be my best course of action. Should I keep going?

"My day was great dear." Some things are just better left unsaid.

Inner voice: Oh and that sound of the dryer, it's the 4th time that I have fluffed the same load. That hum just makes me feel productive. And no I am not ready for bed early, sweats just looked more appealing.